dirty memes

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Childhood sweetheart: Mr. President, please stop making trouble

In the last month of summer, the sun is in the willow, the fire is in the dusk, and the Kui is in the morning. The days are Bing and Ding. Its emperor is Yan Emperor, and its god is Zhurong. Its insects are feathers. Its sound is Zheng, and its rhythm is Lin Zhong. Its number is seven. Its taste is bitter, and its smell is burnt. Its offering is to the stove and the lungs. The warm wind begins to arrive, crickets live on the wall, eagles learn, and rotten grass becomes fireflies. The emperor resides in the right side of Mingtang, rides on a red road, drives a red horse, carries a red flag, wears a red robe, and wears red jade. He eats beans and chickens, and his utensils are high and coarse. He orders fishermen to kill dragons and catch alligators, and climb turtles and catch sea turtles. He orders marsh people to collect wood and reeds.

First Love

In this month, the emperor ordered the musicians to repair the drums, harps, zithers, flutes, pipes, and flutes, to play the halberds, spears, spears, and feathers, to tune the 竽, 笙, 篧, and 韷镔. He ordered the officials to pray to the mountains, rivers, and springs for the people, and to perform the Great Rain God with great music. He ordered all the counties to perform the Rain God and all the ministers who were beneficial to the people, to pray for a good harvest. The farmers harvested millet.

The Wife's Handbook

After Emperor Yuan ascended the throne, because of the favor of Queen Zheng, he wanted to abandon Emperor Ming and enthrone Emperor Jianwen. Those who discussed the issue at that time all said, "It is not only against reason and ethics to abandon the elder and establish the younger one as the crown prince, but also because Emperor Ming is intelligent and decisive, he should be the crown prince." The officials of Zhou and Wang all argued earnestly. Only Diao Xuanliang wanted to obey the young master and follow the emperor's orders. Emperor Yuan was about to implement it, but was worried that the officials would not obey his orders. So he first summoned Marquis Zhou and the Prime Minister, and then wanted to issue an edict to Diao. When Zhou and Wang had just entered and reached the top of the steps, the emperor sent someone to convey the imperial edict and stopped the envoys from going to the east wing. The Marquis of Zhou did not realize what was happening, and immediately went down the stairs. The prime minister opened the imperial edict and went straight to the emperor's bed and said, "I don't know why Your Majesty sees me." The emperor remained silent, took out the yellow paper edict from his arms, tore it up and threw it at him. From then on, the crown prince was decided. Zhou Houfang sighed with shame and said, "I always said I was better than Maohong, but now I know I am not as good as him!"

This guy is a bit crazy

Whenever Wang Chuzhong got drunk, he would recite "An old horse in the stable still has a thousand miles to go. A martyr in his old age still has great ambitions." Hit the spittoon with a Ruyi and the mouth of the spittoon will be broken.

Hot-blooded God of War

In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.