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In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Duke Huan was sitting on a military officer's chair, which was filled with scallions, and the chair was not put down from time to time. The people eating with him did not help, but the chair was still held there, and everyone present laughed. Duke Huan said, "We don't even help each other when we are in the same boat, let alone when we are in danger?" He ordered him to be dismissed from office.
When Chen Yuanfang was eleven years old, he waited for Yuan Gong. Yuan Gong asked, "Your lord is a virtuous man in Taiqiu, and people far and near praise him. What do you do?" Yuan Fang said, "My old father is in Taiqiu. He comforts the strong with virtue and the weak with kindness. He lets them do whatever they want, and they become more respected over time." Yuan Gong said, "I used to be the magistrate of Ye, and I did just that. I wonder if your lord follows my example or if I follow your father?" Yuan Fang said, "Duke Zhou and Confucius were born in different eras, but they were the same everywhere. Duke Zhou did not learn from Confucius, and Confucius did not learn from Duke Zhou."
Yu Xiaofu was the Minister of the Imperial Secretariat of Emperor Wu of Han. The emperor asked him calmly, "I have never heard of you making any offerings while you were my retainer." Yu's home was in Fuchun, near the sea. He told the emperor that he was looking forward to his spirit. He replied, "The weather is still warm. Fish and shrimps (Yu Qiang) cannot be brought in yet. I will make an offering to you soon." The emperor clapped his hands and laughed.
When Zilu's sister died, he could have removed his hairpin, but he didn't. Confucius asked, "Why didn't you remove it?" Zilu said, "I have few brothers and sisters, but I can't bear it." Confucius said, "The previous kings established the rituals, and people on the road can't bear it." Zilu heard about it and removed it.
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