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Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
Zeng Zi asked: "When the king leaves the border, he should be guarded for three years and follow the coffin. When the king dies, what should he do when he enters the palace?" Confucius said: "In the common funeral, the son wears hemp, a hat and a sash, a thin mourning, a thin coat, and a stick. Enter from the gate and ascend from the west steps. If it is a small burial, the son takes off his clothes and follows the coffin, enters from the door and ascends from the east steps. The king, the officials and the scholars are the same." Zeng Zi asked: "After the king's funeral is held, what should he do when he hears about the death of his parents?" Confucius said: "Just do it. After the seal is sealed and he returns, he will not wait for you." Zeng Zi asked: "After the parents' funeral is held, when he arrives on the road and hears about the death of the king, what should he do?" Confucius said: "Just do it. After the enfeoffment, he changed his clothes and went.
General Wang arrested King Sima Min and sent General Shi to carry the king on a carriage and kill him at night, but no one knew about it at the time. Even the Min Wang family did not know all of them, and Wu Ji and his brothers were all young. Wang Huzhi and Wuji were very close when they were young. Once, when Huzhi was traveling together, Wuji went to his mother and asked her to prepare dinner for him. His mother cried and said, "Wang Dun was cruel to your father in the past and used him as a general. The reason why I didn't tell you for all these years is that the Wang family is powerful and you brothers are still young. I didn't want this news to be known, so I wanted to avoid disaster!" Wuji screamed in shock, drew his sword and ran out, but Hu Zhi had already gone far away.
Confucians have the same aspirations and the same principles. They are happy to be together and never get tired of each other. They do not believe rumors when they have not seen each other for a long time. They act according to their principles and establish righteousness. They advance when they are together and retreat when they are different. This is their friendship.
Wang Lantian is impatient. Once when he was eating an egg, he tried to poke it with chopsticks, but failed. He became very angry and threw the egg to the ground. The egg was still spinning on the ground, so he went down to the ground and tried to step on it with the teeth of his clogs, but still couldn't catch it. He became very angry, so he took it from the ground and put it in his mouth, bit it into pieces, and then spat it out. Wang Youjun heard this and laughed loudly, saying: "Even if Anqi had such a character, there would still be no one to criticize him, let alone Lantian?"
Therefore, the teaching of ritual is subtle, and it can stop evil before it takes shape, making people move towards good and stay away from crimes without knowing it. That is why the ancient kings respected it. The Book of Changes says: "A gentleman should be cautious at the beginning, and the error of a millimeter will lead to a thousand miles." This is what it means.
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