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When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
In ancient times, the seams of the hat were shrunk, but now, the seams are horizontal; so the hat of mourning is auspicious, which is not the ancient way. Zengzi said to Zisi: "Ji! When I was in mourning for my parents, I did not drink water for seven days." Zisi said: "The ancient kings established the rituals, those who passed by should bow down to reach it, and those who did not reach it should stand on tiptoe to reach it. Therefore, when a gentleman is in mourning for his parents, he should not drink water for three days, and he can only stand up after being caned." Zengzi said: "If small merits are not taxed, then distant brothers will never mourn, is that right?"
The wedding ceremony will unite the goodwill of the two families, serve the ancestral temple above, and continue the future generations below. Therefore, the king The son takes it seriously. Therefore, in the wedding ceremony, the host sets up a banquet in the temple, and then greets the bride outside the door. After entering, he bows and yields to the gods, and then goes up to the temple to listen to the temple's orders. This is to respect and correct the wedding ceremony.
It is better to not be in decline than to be inappropriate. One should not sit at the side in mourning, and one should not serve in service for great achievements.
When it is sent away, it is eager and anxious, as if it is chasing but cannot catch up; when it is returned, it is anxious and anxious, as if it is seeking but cannot get. Therefore, when they go to see him off, they seem to be longing for him, and when they return, they seem to be suspicious of him.
Fu Gu is good at talking about empty victories, while Xun Can’s conversation is profound and far-reaching. Whenever they talked together, there were arguments and they could not understand each other. Pei Jizhou explained the meaning of the two families, understood the thoughts of both sides, and always made both sides feel satisfied and happy.
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