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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Zhongni was at a banquet, and Zi Zhang, Zi Gong, and Yan were there to accompany him. They talked about etiquette. The Master said: “Stop! I will tell you three about etiquette and let you go around with etiquette to cover everything.” Zi Gong crossed the mat and replied: “May I ask how it goes? ”The Master said, “Respect without following the rules of propriety is called wildness; respect without following the rules of propriety is called servility; courage without following the rules of propriety is called rebellion.” The Master said, “Serving others takes away kindness and benevolence.” The Master said, “Master, you are too much; and Shang is not as good as that. Zichan is like the mother of all people, who can feed them but cannot teach them.” Zigong crossed the table and replied, “May I ask what you will do to achieve this middle point?” The Master said, “Ritual! Rituals are used to set the middle point.”
Xi Chao and Xie Xuan were not on good terms. When Fu Jian was about to challenge the Jin throne, he had already devoured Liang and Qi like a wolves, and was now eyeing Huaiyin like a tiger. At that time, the court discussed sending Xuan to the north to fight, and there were many different opinions among people. Wei Chao said: "This will surely help. I once worked with him in Huan Xuanwu's office and saw that all talents were used to the fullest, and even those who were just clogs were given the job. Judging from this, Rong will surely be able to achieve great success." After Yuan Gong was accomplished, people at that time all admired Chao's foresight and respected his ability to not hide his kindness due to love and hate.
The king does not name the concubines of the ministers, the great officials do not name the nephews and daughters of the ministers, and the scholars do not name the concubines of the family. The son of a lord or a minister dare not call himself "my son"; the son of a minister or a scholar dare not call himself "the heir so-and-so", nor dare to have the same name as the heir. If the lord asks a scholar to shoot and he fails, he should excuse himself on the grounds of illness, saying, "I am worried about carrying firewood." It is not polite to serve a gentleman without looking back.
When Ruan Xuanzi had a good reputation, the Grand Commandant Wang Yifu saw him and asked, "Are the teachings of Laozi and Zhuangzi similar or different from those of the sages?" Ruan Xuanzi replied, "There may be no similarities." The Grand Commandant was pleased with his words and appointed him as an official. People in the world call him "three-language official". Wei Jie mocked him and said, “One word can refute it, why bother with three?” Xuan Zi said, “If he is respected by the world, I can refute him without saying a word, why bother with one word?” So they became friends.
Yin Zhongjun, Sun Anguo, Wang, Xie Nengyan and other wise men were all in Kuaiji Wang Xu. Yin and Sun discussed together that the images of Yi are wonderful in showing the real shapes. Sun Yu’s words were in harmony with the truth and he was full of high spirits. Everyone present was uneasy about Sun Li, but they could not give in. The King of Kuaiji sighed and said, "If Zhenchang is here, we should be able to control him." After welcoming Zhenchang, Sun felt that he was inferior to him. When Zhenchang arrived, he first asked Sun to explain the original principle himself. Sun Cuo spoke his own words, and he also felt that they were not as good as before. Liu then made a speech of about 200 words, but his words were difficult to be concise and clear, and Sun Li finally gave in. Everyone sitting there clapped their hands and laughed, praising it for a long time.
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