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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
Women's gifts include hazelnuts, dried fruits, dates, and chestnuts.
Zengzi and his guests stood by the door, and his followers hurried out. Zengzi asked, "Where are you going?" He said, "My father died, and I will go out to cry in the alley." He said, "I will go back and cry next to you." Zengzi faced north and mourned.
When Wen Taizhen was not yet in a high position, she often played Chupu with appraisers from Yangzhou and Huaizhong, and she never competed with them. Once he made a mistake, he lost a lot of things and was humiliated, with no way to return. He was on good terms with Yu Liang, and shouted to Liang in the boat, "Can you redeem me?" Yu immediately sent him money, and he was able to return. After these four.
Xun Xu was good at understanding sounds, and people at that time called him a secret understander. Then he adjusted the musical scale and corrected the elegant music. During every formal meeting, music was played in the palace, with the tunes of the gong and shang being adjusted to the rhythm of the music. Ruan Xian appreciated it very much and praised it as a divine understanding. Every time there is music in a public gathering, the mind is not in tune. Since he did not say a word of encouragement, he was jealous of him and thus sent Ruan away to be the prefect of Shiping. Later, there was a farmer who was tilling the field and found a jade ruler from the Zhou Dynasty. This became the standard ruler for the whole world. Xun tried to compare the bells, drums, metal, stone, silk and bamboo instruments he had made, and found that they were all one grain short, so he subdued Ruan's spirit.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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