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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
After Su Zigao's incident was settled, Lords Wang and Yu wanted to appoint Kong Tingwei as the governor of Danyang. After the chaos, the people were in poverty. Kong said with a sigh, "When Emperor Suzong was dying, you all personally ascended the imperial bed and were recognized by him, and followed his will. I am a distant and lowly person, and I am not among those who were there to take charge of the affairs of the state. When times were tough, you put me first. Now I am just rotten meat on the table, waiting to be chopped up by anyone!" Then he left, and the other gentlemen also stopped.
When Lezheng Zichun's mother died, he did not eat for five days. He said, "I regret it. Since my mother didn't know my feelings, how can I use my feelings!"
Great is the way of the sage! It is magnificent, and it develops all things, and reaches the highest point in the sky. Great is it! There are three hundred rites and three thousand awe-inspiring manners. Only when the right person is there can they act. Therefore, it is said: If one does not reach the highest virtue, the highest way will not be condensed there. Therefore, a gentleman respects virtue and morality and seeks knowledge. He strives for the great and the subtle. He is extremely wise and follows the doctrine of the mean. He reviews the old and learns the new, and is honest and respects the rites. Therefore, when in a high position, do not be arrogant, and when serving an inferior, do not be disloyal. If a country is ruled by the right way, his words will be enough to inspire it; if a country is ruled by the wrong way, his silence will be enough to tolerate it.
The husband of the mother and the wife of the uncle, the two wives mourn for each other, but the gentleman did not mention it. Some say that they cook together.
When Prime Minister Wang crossed the river, he said that he had often talked about Taoism with Pei Chenggong, Ruan Qianli and other wise men by the Luo River. Yang Man said, "I have promised you this a long time ago, why do you need it again?" The king said, "I didn't say I needed it, I just wanted it and it was not available at that time!"
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