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The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. 鈥
Duke Xian of Jin died, Duke Mu of Qin sent people to offer condolences to Prince Chong'er, and said, "I have heard that the loss of a country is always here, and the recovery of a country is always here. Although my son is in mourning, the mourning cannot be too long, and the time cannot be lost. You should plan it." He told his uncle Fan, who said, "You should refuse it. A bereaved person has no treasure, but a loving relative is a treasure. What is the point of the father's death? And you think it is profitable, but who in the world can persuade you? You should refuse it." Prince Chong'er said to the guests, "You are kind enough to offer condolences to the deceased minister Chong'er. I lost my father myself, but I cannot cry with you and grieve for you. What is the point of the father's death? If someone dares to have other intentions, it will insult your righteousness." He bowed his head without kneeling, and stood up after crying, but did not hesitate. Zi Xian told Duke Mu of Qin about his death. Duke Mu said, "The benevolent Prince Chong'er! If you bow your head but don't kowtow, you are not yet the heir, so you can't kowtow; if you cry and then get up, you love your father; if you get up without selfishness, you are looking for benefits."
Xu Yun was executed by King Jing of Jin, and his disciple went in to tell his wife. The woman was working on the loom, her expression unchanged, and she said, "I knew it early!" The servants wanted to hide the child, but the woman said, "Don't get involved in the child's affairs." Later, the child was moved to a tomb, and King Jing sent Zhong Hui to look after him. If the child had talent like his father, he would be taken in. The child asked his mother for advice. The mother said: "Although you are good, you don't have much talent. Just speak from your heart and you will have nothing to worry about. You don't have to be too sad. Just stop when you can. You can also ask less about court affairs." The children followed her advice. He then reported the case and was finally released.
Kong Wenju had two sons, the elder one was six years old and the younger one was five years old. While his father was sleeping during the day, the younger one would steal wine from the bedside and drink it. The eldest son asked, "Why don't you bow?" He replied, "I stole, so how can I bow?"
Guo Zixuan was a talented person who could talk about Laozi and Zhuangzi. Yu Bi often praised him, saying: "Why should Guo Zixuan be inferior to Yu Zisong?"
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
Pei Linggong's eyes: "Wang Anfeng's eyes are as bright as lightning under a rock."
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