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Sun Xinggong and Xu Xuandu were both famous figures of the time. Some people respect Xu's noble sentiments and despise his grandson's evil conduct; some people love his grandson's talent and eloquence and have no interest in Xu.
Serving a gentleman, when a gentleman ascends or descends, he hands him a rein; when he starts to ride, he must show respect; when a gentleman descends, he must stand back. When riding in a second carriage, he must show respect, but not in the assistant carriage. For the second carriage, the princes have seven, the senior officials have five, and the junior officials have three. The horses and carriages of the two-carriage man are not to be trifled with. Look at the clothes, swords, and horses of the gentleman, and do not buy them.
When Liu Daozhen was young, he often fished in the marshes. He was good at singing and whistling, and everyone who heard him would linger. There was an old woman who recognized that he was not an ordinary person and was very pleased with his singing and whistling, so she killed a pig and presented it to him. Daozhen ate all the pork and didn't even thank him. Seeing that she was not full, the old woman offered another piece of pork, ate half and the rest, and then returned it. Later he became a Lang of the Ministry of Personnel, and the old woman became a Xiao Lingshi, and Daozhen made great use of her. He didn't know why, so he asked his mother, and his mother told him. So he brought an ox and some wine to Daozhen, who said, "Go away! Go away! I have nothing to offer you."
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
The gentleman said: "Gently accept harmony, and accept white; loyal and faithful people can learn etiquette. If there is no loyal and faithful person, etiquette will not be in vain. Therefore, it is precious to get the right person. Confucius said: "Reciting three hundred poems in the Book of Songs is not enough for one offering. The ceremony of one offering is not enough for a great feast. The ceremony of a great feast is not enough for a great group. The great group is ready, but it is not enough for the feast of the emperor." Don't discuss etiquette lightly! Zilu was the chief of Ji's family. Ji's family offered sacrifices at dusk, and when the day was not enough, they continued with candles. Even if there is a strong face and a solemn and respectful heart, they are all tired. The officials limped and leaned to attend the sacrifice, which was a great disrespect. On other days when offering sacrifices, Zilu would be present. The affairs of the inner room would be handled at the door, and the affairs of the hall would be handled at the steps. They would start their activities at dawn and leave at dusk. Confucius heard this and said, "Who says that You doesn't know etiquette?
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