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When Xie Renzu was eight years old, Xie Yuzhang was about to see off a guest. At that time, he had already attained enlightenment from his words and entered the upper stream. Everyone sighed and said, "He is the younger Yan Hui sitting here." King Renzu said, "Without Ni Fu sitting here, how can we distinguish Yan Hui?"
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
During the funeral of Gongyi Zhongzi, Tan Gong was exempted. Zhongzi abandoned his grandson and established his son. Tan Gong said, "Where is it? I have never heard of it before." He hurried to Zifu Bozi at the right of the door and said, "Zhongzi abandoned his grandson and established his son. Why?" Bozi said, "Zhongzi is also following the ancient way. In the past, King Wen abandoned Bo Yikao and established King Wu, and Weizi abandoned his grandson Xu and established Yan. Zhongzi is also following the ancient way."
Wei Junchang was the chief secretary of Duke Wen, and Duke Wen liked him very much. They would always bring wine and dried meat to Wei, and sit cross-legged facing each other all day long. When Wei went to Wen and Xu, it was the same.
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
Yu Yuanke went to see Sun Jian. On duty, he saw Qi Zhuang outside. He was still young, but had a spirit. Yu asked him, "Where is Sun Anguo?" He answered, "He is at Yu Zhigong's house." Yu laughed and said, "Sun Anguo is so successful that he has a son like this!" He answered again, "He is not as careful as Yu Anguo." When he returned, he said to others, "I won because of this, so I can call my father's name again."
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