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Xie Taifu said to Anbei: "Seeing him does not make people feel disgusted, but when he leaves the house, he no longer makes people miss him."
He Qiao was a very frugal person. His family had a lot of lychees that he liked. When Wang Wuzi asked for them, he gave him no more than a few dozen. Wang Wuzi, because he was honest, led the young men who could eat it, went to the garden with axes, and after they had eaten their fill, they chopped down the trees and sent a cartload of branches to Hegong. He asked, "How do you compare to me, Li?" After getting the answer, he just smiled.
When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
When Ruan Guanglu was in Shan, he had a good car and he lent it to everyone who asked for it. Someone wanted to borrow money to bury his mother but did not dare to ask. When Queen Ruan heard this, she sighed and said, "I have a carriage but people are afraid to lend it to me. What's the use of the carriage?" Then she burned it.
When Zuche rode across the river, he was frugal, both in public and private, and had no fine clothes or toys. When the king and Yu officials went to see their ancestor, they suddenly saw overlapping fur robes and numerous precious ornaments. They were surprised and asked about it. The Master said, "There was another robbery at Nantang last night." The Master always ordered his strong men to rob money at that time, and he would tolerate the people involved without asking any questions.
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
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