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When Jianwen was the Prince of Xiang, he and Xie Gong went to visit Huan Xuanwu. Wang Xun was inside first, and Huan said to the king: "You have wanted to see the Prince of Xiang, you can stay in the tent." After the two guests left, Huan said to the king: "What do you think?" The king said: "The Prince of Xiang is the assistant, and he is naturally as dignified as a god. You are also the hope of all the people. Otherwise, why would the Minister of Pushe die?"
The Wei Dynasty appointed King Wen of Jin as Duke and prepared nine gifts, but King Wen refused to accept them. The ministers, generals and officers should go to the government office to give instructions. Sikong Zheng Chongchi sent a letter to Ruan Ji asking for literature. At that time, Ji was at Yuan Xiaoni's house. He was helped up from a drunken stupor and wrote a letter, but without any final word, he just wrote it and gave it to the messenger. People at that time thought it was a magic pen.
When Wang Zijing and his brothers met Duke Xi, they tiptoed to ask for his advice and were very polite to outsiders. When the guests died, they all wore chopsticks and high sandals, and had a disrespectful demeanor. When they were ordered to sit down, they all said, "We are busy and have no time to sit down." After they left, Xi Gong said with deep emotion, "If the distinguished guests were still alive, how dare you rats do this!"
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Therefore, if male education is not cultivated, yang affairs cannot be achieved, and it happens to be seen in the sky, the sun is eclipsed; if female obedience is not cultivated, yin affairs cannot be achieved, and it happens to be seen in the sky, the moon is eclipsed. Therefore, when the sun is eclipsed, the emperor wears plain clothes and cultivates the duties of the six officials, and eliminates the yang affairs of the world; when the moon is eclipsed, the queen wears plain clothes and cultivates the duties of the six palaces, and eliminates the yin affairs of the world. Therefore, the emperor and the queen are like the sun and the moon, the yin and the yang, and they need each other to succeed. The emperor cultivates male education, which is the father's way; the queen cultivates female obedience, which is the mother's way. Therefore, it is said that the relationship between the emperor and the empress is like that between a father and his mother. Therefore, to wear mourning clothes for the emperor is the same as to wear mourning clothes for the father; to wear mourning clothes for the empress is the same as to wear mourning clothes for the mother.
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