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When Zhong Yu brothers were young, their father took a nap during the day, so they secretly drank medicinal wine together. His father woke up at the time and pretended to sleep to watch. Yu bowed before drinking, and drank together without bowing. Then he asked Yu why he bowed, Yu said: "Wine is the rite, I dare not not bow." He asked Hui why he did not bow, Hui said: "Stealing is not rite, so I do not bow."
The Buddhist scriptures believe that by cultivating the spirit, one can become a sage. Jian Wen said: "I don't know if I can reach the pinnacle of achievement. However, the merits of training cannot be denied."
Zengzi said: "The filial son provides for the elderly by making his heart happy and not violating his will, making his ears and eyes happy, making his bed comfortable, and providing him with food and drink. The filial son who is loyal to the parents provides for the whole life. The whole life is not the whole life of the parents, but the whole life of the parents. Therefore, the parents also love what they love and respect what they respect. This is true even for dogs and horses, let alone humans!" Regarding the provision of elderly care, the Five Emperors had regulations and the Three Kings had requests for advice. The Five Emperors followed the rule of nurturing the spirit and not asking for advice. If they did something good, they would record it as a dunshi. The Three Kings also followed the rule of nurturing the elderly and then asking for advice. They also did not follow the etiquette and all had dunshi.
When Wang Wendu was the chief secretary of Duke Huan, Duke Huan asked for a daughter from the king for his son, and the king agreed to ask for a daughter from Lantian. After returning, Lantian missed Wendu very much and still held him on his lap even though he had grown up. Wendu then told Huan that he wanted his daughter's knee. Lantian was furious and pushed Wendu to his knees and said, "What a shame! Wendu is foolish again. Are you afraid of Huan Wen? How can you marry your daughter to him?" Wendu replied, "My family has found a marriage place first." Duke Huan said, "I know it. It's just that your Excellency doesn't want to." Later, Huan's daughter married Wendu's son.
Wang Zhonglang loved Zhang Tianxi very much and asked him, "You have seen the paths and tracks of the people who crossed the Yangtze River. What is so great about the tracks on the left side of the Yangtze River? How are the later talents compared with the Central Plains?" Zhang said, "Since Wang and He, we have studied the profound and profound things. We have made changes according to the times, following the style of Xun and Yue." Wang said, "You have more knowledge and insights, why did you let Fu Jian control you?" He replied, "The yang disappears and the yin rests, so the steps of the sky are slow; the negative and positive are stripped away to form an image, so why should we criticize you too much?"
Ni Heng was demoted by Emperor Wu of Wei to be a drummer, and was tested on the drums at 15th day of the first lunar month. The Hengyang gong was the Yuyang gong, and its sound was like that of metal and stone, which made the expressions of those sitting around change. Kong Rong said: "Ni Heng's crime is the same as Xu Mi's. He cannot reveal the king's dream." Wei Wu was ashamed and pardoned him.
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
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