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When Zigong asked about mourning, Confucius said, "Respect is the best, grief is the next, and thinness is the worst. The color of the face reflects the feelings; the sorrowful expression reflects the clothes." When asked about the mourning of brothers, Confucius said, "The mourning of brothers is recorded in the books and strategies. "A gentleman does not take away the mourning of others, nor should he take away his own mourning. Confucius said: "Shaolian and Dalian are good at mourning. They do not get tired for three days and do not stop for three months. They are sad for a long time and worried for three years. They are the sons of Dongyi. ”
Liu Yin and Wang Changshi sat together, and Changshi started dancing after drinking. Liu Yin said: "Anu will not reduce the period of Ziqi today."
The king does not name the concubines of the ministers, the great officials do not name the nephews and daughters of the ministers, and the scholars do not name the concubines of the family. The son of a lord or a minister dare not call himself "my son"; the son of a minister or a scholar dare not call himself "the heir so-and-so", nor dare to have the same name as the heir. If the lord asks a scholar to shoot and he fails, he should excuse himself on the grounds of illness, saying, "I am worried about carrying firewood." It is not polite to serve a gentleman without looking back.
Du Hongzhi's tomb collapsed, and his expression was so sad that it was beyond description. Yu Gong turned to his guests and said, "Hongzhi is very weak, so we should not mourn for him." He also said, "Hongzhi's crying should not be mourned."
Emperor Wen of Wei was jealous of his younger brother, Prince of Rencheng, because he was brave and strong. As they were playing Go and eating dates in the presence of Empress Dowager Bian, Emperor Wen put poison in the stems of the dates. He selected the edible ones and presented them to the king, but the king did not understand and mixed them with other foods. Since he was poisoned, the Queen Mother asked for water to save him. The emperor ordered his attendants to destroy the bottles and jars in advance, and the empress dowager ran barefoot to the well, but there was nothing to draw water from. After a while, he died. He wanted to kill Dong'e again, but the Queen Mother said, "You have killed my Rencheng, so you cannot kill my Dong'e again."
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
Wang Pingzi, Hu Wuyanguo and others all regarded letting go as a sign of being generous, and some even went naked. Yue Guang laughed and said, "There is a place of happiness in the orthodox teachings. Why do you have to do this?"
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