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Therefore, the emperor regulates the princes, making small betrothals every year and big betrothals every three years, and they are strict with each other. If the envoys make a mistake in the betrothal, the lord will not personally entertain them. This is to shame and encourage them. The princes are strict with each other, so they will not invade each other externally and bully each other internally. This is why the emperor nurtures the princes, so that the army is not used and the princes can be just.
Xu Yuan once visited Jianwen. It was a windy and calm night with a bright moon, so they composed music and talked in the room. Expressing one’s inner thoughts is Xu’s forte. The words are clear and graceful, more than usual. Although Jianwen and he had always been in sync, this encounter was even more regrettable. Unconsciously they knelt down and spoke with their hands, and the conversation lasted until almost dawn. Then he said: "Xuan Du has great talent and sentiment, so it is not easy to give him many compliments."
During the funeral of Gongyi Zhongzi, Tan Gong was exempted. Zhongzi abandoned his grandson and established his son. Tan Gong said, "Where is it? I have never heard of it before." He hurried to Zifu Bozi at the right of the door and said, "Zhongzi abandoned his grandson and established his son. Why?" Bozi said, "Zhongzi is also following the ancient way. In the past, King Wen abandoned Bo Yikao and established King Wu, and Weizi abandoned his grandson Xu and established Yan. Zhongzi is also following the ancient way."
The study of memorizing and asking questions is not enough to be a teacher. It is necessary to listen to the words, and if you can't ask them, then tell them; if you don't understand after the words, you can just give up.
When a girl is betrothed, she is given a tassel; unless there is a serious reason, she will not enter the bride's house. When aunts, sisters, and daughters return home after getting married, brothers should not sit at the same table with them, nor eat from the same utensils with them. Father and son sit at different tables.
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