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People at that time said of Ruan Sikuang: "He is not as strong as Youjun in spirit, not as elegant as Zhenchang, not as graceful as Zhongzu, not as thoughtful as Yuanyuan, but he has the beauty of all of them."
The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
When the king's messenger arrives, the host should come out and bow to show his disgrace to the king's words; when the messenger returns, he must bow and see him off at the door. If you send someone to the king's place, you must dress in court and give orders; if the envoy returns, you must go downstairs and receive orders.
The lowly should not mourn the noble, the young should not mourn the old, this is the etiquette. Only the emperor should be mourned by calling the heaven. The princes mourning each other is not etiquette.
A gentleman has three worries: if he has not heard it, he worries that he will not be able to hear it; if he has heard it, he worries that he will not be able to learn it; if he has learned it, he worries that he will not be able to practice it. A gentleman has five shames: if he is in his position but does not speak the right words, he is ashamed; if he has the right words but does not act the right words, he is ashamed; if he has gained it and then lost it, he is ashamed; if the land is surplus but the people are insufficient, he is ashamed; if the number of people is equal but double, he is ashamed.
In mourning, one should not eat for three days; in mourning of the same age, one should not eat for two days; in mourning of the great merit, one should not eat for three days; in mourning of the minor merit, one should not eat for two days; in mourning of the scholar, one should not eat for one day. Therefore, in the funeral of parents, after the funeral, one should eat porridge, and in the morning, one should spill one rice, and no one should spill one rice; in mourning of the same age, one should eat simple food and drink water, and not eat vegetables and fruits; in mourning of the great merit, one should not eat soy sauce; in mourning of the minor merit, one should not drink sweet wine. This is the expression of grief in food and drink.
Wang Rong said: "The Grand Protector lived in the Zhengshi period, and he was not among those who could speak well. When he spoke to him, his reasoning was clear and far-reaching, and no one could use virtue to cover up his words!"
Xie's cavalry was in trouble in Anxi, and Lin Daoren went to talk to him, but Xie left at dusk. Someone saw him on the road and asked, "Where are you from?" He replied, "I came out today after a conversation with Xie Xiaoju."
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