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A gentleman knows the reasons why teaching is flourishing and the reasons why teaching is abolished, and then he can be a teacher. Therefore, the gentleman's teaching is to guide but not to force, to force but not to suppress, and to open but not to reach. If you follow the way but don't force it, you will be harmonious; if you are strong but don't suppress it, you will be easy; if you open but don't reach it, you will think; harmony and ease with thinking can be called good metaphor.
Someone asked, "Why do people bury their parents after three days of death?" The answer is: filial sons are sad and resentful when their parents die, so they crawl on the ground and cry, as if they will be resurrected, how can they be taken away and buried. Therefore, it is said that the funeral is held after three days, in order to wait for the body to be reborn. If the body is not reborn after three days, it is also dead. The filial son's heart will also be weakened; the family plan and clothing can also be completed; the distant relatives can also come. Therefore, the sages made a decision to set a three-day ritual system.
Han Shou was handsome, so Jia Chong appointed him as an official. Whenever Chong had a party, Jia's daughter would look through the green jade and see Shou, and she would be attracted by him. Always keep your thoughts in mind and express them in poetry. Later, the maid went to Shou's house and told him everything, and also said that the girl was radiant and beautiful. Shou was moved when he heard this, so he asked his maid to secretly communicate with him. Go there and stay at the appointed time. Shou Qiao was extremely agile and he climbed over the wall and entered the house without anyone knowing. Since then, Chong realized that Nu Sheng was wiping herself and her words were different from usual. Later, when he met with other officials, he heard that the shou had a strange fragrance, which was a tribute from foreign countries. If one person ate one chopstick, he would be able to eat it for months. I thought that Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty only gave this incense to myself and Chen Qian, and no other family had this incense. I suspected that Shou had an affair with a girl, but the walls were heavy and the doors were steep. How could she have gotten there? He then made an excuse that there was a thief and ordered people to repair the wall. The envoy replied, "The rest is normal, except for the northeast corner where there seem to be traces of people. And the wall is too high for people to climb over." Chong then called the maids on either side of the girl for questioning, and they told him the situation. He kept it a secret and married his daughter to Shou.
Yu Zhengxi launched a large-scale expedition against the Hu people. After the expedition was completed, he stopped at Xiangyang. Yin Yuzhang wrote a letter and gave him a folded-corner ruyi as a token of his appreciation. Yu replied in the letter: "I have obtained what I have obtained, even if it is a waste, I still want to make good use of it."
Someone gave Wei Wu a cup of cheese. Wei Wu ate a little and wrote the word "合" on his veil to show it to everyone. No one could understand it. When he came to Yang Xiu, Xiu ate it and said, "You told me to eat only one bite, why should I doubt it?"
Zi said: "A gentleman refuses the noble but not the humble, refuses the rich but not the poor, then chaos will be eliminated." Therefore, a gentleman would rather let people float above food than let food float above others. Confucius said: "If you give way to wine, beans and meat and accept the bad, the people will offend the teeth; if you give way to the seat on the lapel and sit down, the people will offend the noble; if you give way to the position in the court and accept the humble, the people will offend the monarch. "The Book of Songs says: "The people are unscrupulous, resenting one another; accepting titles without yielding them, they have finally died." Confucius said: "A gentleman values others and despises himself, and puts others before himself, so the people will yield to him." Therefore, call someone else's ruler "Jun", and call yourself "Guojun". Confucius said: "In the interests of salary, those who die first and those who live later, then the people will not be disloyal; those who die first and those who survive later, then the people can be trusted." The Book of Songs says: "The thoughts of the former rulers were kept by the gullible." With this, the people still disloyalty died and cried without complaint.
When a relative dies, the chickens and the chickens go barefoot, hold the upper hem, and cry with their hands. The heart of pity and the intention of pain and illness hurt the kidneys, dry the liver and burn the lungs. Water and liquid cannot enter the mouth. No fire is lit for three days, so the neighbors make porridge for him to eat and drink. The grief is in the heart, so the body changes on the outside. The pain and illness are in the heart, so the mouth does not taste good and the body is not comfortable.
General Wang said of his son: "His spirit and appearance seem to be good."
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