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When a girl is betrothed, she is given a tassel; unless there is a serious reason, she will not enter the bride's house. When aunts, sisters, and daughters return home after getting married, brothers should not sit at the same table with them, nor eat from the same utensils with them. Father and son sit at different tables.
The Master said: “If it is easy for the superiors to do things and easy for the inferiors to understand, then the punishments will not be complicated.” The Master said: “If the virtuous are favored as in the “Black Clothes” and the evil are disliked as in the “Hang Bo”, then the titles will not be disrespected and the people will be willing, and the punishments will not be tested and the people will obey. The Great Odes say: ‘The punishments of King Wen are followed, and the nations will be faithful.’” The Master said: “If the people are taught virtue and regulated by rites, then the people will have a sense of discipline; if they are taught politics and regulated by punishments, then the people will have a sense of evasion. Therefore, if the ruler loves the people, then the people will be close to him; if he is trustworthy, then the people will not betray him; if he is respectful, then the people will have a respectful heart. The Fu Xing says: ‘The people are punished by fate and regulated by punishments. Only the five cruel punishments are called laws. Therefore, the people have bad virtues and are finally exterminated from the world. ’”
What makes a person a person is courtesy and righteousness. The beginning of courtesy and righteousness lies in straightening the body, harmonizing the color, and smoothing the words. When the body is straight, the color is straight, and the words are smooth, then courtesy and righteousness are complete. So the relationship between the monarch and the minister is straight, the father and son are close, and the elders and the younger are harmonious. When the monarch and the minister are straight, the father and son are close, and the elders and the younger are harmonious, then courtesy and righteousness are established. Therefore, after the crown is worn, the clothes are ready. After the clothes are ready, the body is straight, the color is uniform, and the words are smooth. Therefore, it is said that the crown is the beginning of etiquette. Therefore, the ancient sage kings attached great importance to the crown.
The Duke said, “May I ask what is meant by respecting oneself?” Confucius replied, “When a gentleman speaks too much, the people will make excuses; when he acts too much, the people will make examples. If a gentleman does not speak too much and does not act too much, the people will respect him without being ordered. In this way, he can respect himself; if he can respect himself, he can complete his parents. ”The Duke said, “May I ask what is meant by completing his parents?” Confucius replied, “A gentleman is a name for people. The people call him a son of a gentleman. This is to make their parents become gentlemen, and this is to complete their parents’ name!” Confucius then said, “In ancient times, the most important thing in governing was to love people. If you cannot love people, you cannot have your body; if you cannot have your body, you cannot be at peace with your land; if you cannot be at peace with your land, you cannot be happy with heaven; if you cannot be happy with heaven, you cannot complete your body.”
Someone asked: "What is a cane?" The answer is: bamboo and tung are the same. So for the father, a cane is made of bamboo; for the mother, a cane is made of tung.
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