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The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
King Wen of Jin praised Ruan Sizong as extremely cautious. Whenever he spoke to him, his words were profound and far-reaching, and he never praised or criticized anyone.
When Lady Xie was teaching her son, she asked the tutor, "How come I didn't see you teaching my son for the first time?" The tutor replied, "I always teach my son myself."
Zi Yun: "A gentleman forgives his parents' faults and respects their virtues." The Analects says: "If one does not change his father's way for three years, he can be called filial." Gaozong said: "For three years, he did not speak, and he would complain if he spoke." Zi Yun: "If one obeys orders without anger, gives subtle advice without getting tired, and works hard without complaining, he can be called filial." The Book of Poetry
Ruan Xuanzi discussed the existence of ghosts and gods. Some believed that ghosts existed when people died, but Xuanzi alone believed that ghosts did not exist. He said, "Nowadays, those who see ghosts say that they cut off the clothes they wore when they were alive. If ghosts exist when people die, do clothes also have ghosts?"
Zeng Zi asked: "How can the sacrifice not be performed?" Confucius said: "I heard that in a minor auspicious event, the host performs the sacrifice without offering sacrifices, and offers sacrifices to the guests, but the guests do not raise them. This is the etiquette. In the past, Duke Zhao of Lu performed sacrifices and offered sacrifices to the guests, which was not etiquette; Duke Xiao of Lu performed a major auspicious event, but did not offer sacrifices, which was also not etiquette. "
When a funeral is made for one's monarch, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died"; for parents, wife, and eldest son, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died". When a monarch makes a funeral for the monarch of another country, one says: "My monarch is unlucky, and I dare to inform the steward."; for his wife, one says: "My youngest son, I will be buried with you."
The Master said: "Only the gentleman can love his righteousness, while the villain poisons his righteousness. Therefore, the friends of the gentleman have their own hometowns, and their dislikes have their own directions; therefore, those who are near are not confused, and those who are far away do not doubt. The Book of Songs says: "The gentleman likes enemies. '" The Master said: "If you lightly reject poverty and humbleness, and value wealth and honor, then your love for the virtuous will not be firm, and your dislike for the evil will not be clear. Even if people say it is not beneficial, I will not believe it. The Book of Songs says: "Friends have a place to control, and control with dignity. '" The Master said: "Private favors do not belong to virtue, and the gentleman does not keep them for himself. The Book of Songs says: "People love me, showing me how to walk around. ’”
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