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Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
The etiquette of drinking in the village: those who are sixty sit, and those who are fifty stand and wait to listen to government affairs, so as to show respect for the elders. Those who are sixty have three beans, those who are seventy have four beans, those who are eighty have five beans, and those who are ninety have six beans, so as to show the care for the elderly. When the people know how to respect the elders and care for the elderly, they can then enter filial piety and brotherhood. When the people enter filial piety and brotherhood, they respect the elders and care for the elderly, and then the teaching is established. After the teaching is established, the country can be at peace. What a gentleman calls filial piety is not to see it every day when you come home; to gather the people in the village to shoot, teach them the etiquette of drinking in the village, and then the behavior of filial piety and brotherhood will be established.
Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
Zhi Daolin first came from the east and lived in Dong'an Temple. Wang Changshi had a meticulous plan and had written a brilliant essay. When he talked with Zhi about it, he could not quite get along with him. Wang Xuzhi wrote several hundred words, claiming that they were full of famous theories and extraordinary writings. Zhi said slowly, "I have not seen you for many years, and you have made no progress in your righteousness." Wang was ashamed and left.
Zu Shishao loved money when he was young, and Ruan Yaoji liked to wear shoes. They both managed their own things, but they did not judge their gains and losses. When someone visited the ancestor, he saw the items and property. When the guest arrived, the screen had not yet been fully screened. I put two small baskets and chopsticks behind my back and leaned over to block them, feeling unsatisfied. Someone who visited Ruan saw him blowing on his wax clogs, and he sighed and said, "I wonder how many pairs of clogs I should wear in my lifetime?" He looked relaxed. Then the winner was decided.
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