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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
Youzi asked Zengzi: "Have you asked about funerals, Master?" He said: "I have heard that funerals want to get poor quickly, and death wants to decay quickly." Youzi said: "This is not what a gentleman says." Zengzi said: "Shen heard it from the Master." Youzi said again: "This is not what a gentleman says." Zengzi said: "Shen and Ziyou heard it." Youzi said: "Yes, then the Master said it for a reason." Zengzi told Ziyou this. Ziyou said, "How wonderful! Youzi's words are similar to yours. Once upon a time, when the Master was living in Song, he saw Sima Huan making a stone coffin for himself, which took three years to complete. The Master said, 'If it is so, then it is better to decay quickly than to die.' The desire to decay quickly was what Sima Huan said. When Nangong Jingshu returned, he would bring treasures with him to the court. The Master said, 'If it is so, then it is better to become poor quickly than to be buried.' The desire to become poor quickly was what Jingshu said." Zengzi told him what Ziyou said. When Youzi was talking to Youzi, Youzi said, "Yes, I have always said that this is not what the Master said." Zengzi said, "How do you know this?" Youzi said, "The Master made a four-inch coffin and a five-inch outer coffin in Zhongdu, so he knew that he did not want to decay quickly. In the past, when the Master lost the position of Sikou of Lu and was about to go to Jing, he first asked Zixia and then Ran You, so he knew that he did not want to become poor quickly."
When Shan Xia left Dongyang, Wang Changshi wrote to him to ask for Dongyang's help, saying: "You have inherited the harsh policies, so you can achieve peace and order."
After Su Zigao's incident was settled, Lords Wang and Yu wanted to appoint Kong Tingwei as the governor of Danyang. After the chaos, the people were in poverty. Kong said with a sigh, "When Emperor Suzong was dying, you all personally ascended the imperial bed and were recognized by him, and followed his will. I am a distant and lowly person, and I am not among those who were there to take charge of the affairs of the state. When times were tough, you put me first. Now I am just rotten meat on the table, waiting to be chopped up by anyone!" Then he left, and the other gentlemen also stopped.
When Duke Yu was the Protector General, he asked Huan Tingwei to find a good official, and the search lasted for years. Queen Huan met Xu Ning and learned about it, so she told Yu Gong: "What others should have, you don't have to have; what others should not have, you don't have to not have. He is truly a pure man in the sea and mountains."
Tang, all have one virtue. ’ The Book of Songs says: ‘A virtuous man and a gentleman, his manners are not wrong. ’”
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