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Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
In the court, talk about etiquette, and answer with etiquette when asked about etiquette. At the grand feast, do not ask for divination, and do not be extravagant.
After Sun Xiu surrendered to the Jin Dynasty, Emperor Wu of Jin treated him with great favor and allowed him to marry his aunt's younger sister, Kuai, and their family was very stable. His wife was jealous and called Xiu a "raccoon". Xiu was very upset and refused to go in again. Kuai deeply regretted his mistake and asked the emperor for help. There was a general amnesty at that time, and all the officials were present. After he left, the emperor kept Xiu alone and said to him calmly, "The world is vast and open, can Madam Kuai follow its example?" Xiu took off his hat and declined, and then they became husband and wife as before.
The Master said: "The way of a gentleman is to open up the streets and the people are what the streets lack. "If a great man is a censor, the people will still go beyond him. Therefore, a gentleman should use rites to censor virtue, punish punishments to censor extravagance, and command to censor desire.
If you have worn a three-year-old white cap, you can replace it with the hemp of great merit; only the walking stick and shoes cannot be changed. When there is a death of parents, the merit is reduced, and when you are with your brother, you can wear a white cap. When you are with your brother, you are called Yang Tong Mou Fu, without a name, and it is a god. When you live separately, when you first hear about your brother's death, you can only cry in response. When you first wear hemp, you can wear a mourning belt. If you go to the funeral without wearing hemp, and the host has not yet worn mourning, you should wear it with the host if you are distant, and wear it with the host if you are close. , and the number of days of wearing the hemp belt and mourning clothes. When the master's concubine dies, the son shall be in charge of everything from mourning clothes to the linen auspicious ceremony. The funeral and sacrifice shall not be held in the main wife. The master shall not care for the servant concubine. When the queen dies, the concubine shall wear the party clothes of the queen. If the queen takes over, the concubine shall not wear the party clothes of the previous queen.
The same; the hemp of Qisui is the same as the hemp of Dagong; the hemp of Dagong is the same as the hemp of Xiaogong; the hemp of Xiaogong is the same as the hemp of Shi, if they are the same, then both should be worn. If the one who wears both is heavier, then the lighter one should be replaced.
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