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General Wang said in front of everyone, "There has never been anyone who became one of the Three Dukes in the Zhou Dynasty." Someone answered, "Only Zhou Hou Yi led five horses but failed to defeat him." The general said, "Zhou and I met at Luoyang and we were wiped out at once. The world was in turmoil and it has come to this!" He burst into tears.
In mourning for parents, one wears a mourning hat with a tassel and straw sandals, eats porridge for three days, bathes for three months, wears a silk hat after thirteen months, and auspiciousness comes after three years. By comparing these three festivals, the benevolent can observe their love, the wise can observe their reason, and the strong can observe their will. Govern with propriety, correct with righteousness, and filial sons, younger brothers, and chaste wives can all be observed.
During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
Ji Zhongsan was about to be executed in the East Market, but his expression remained unchanged. He asked for a zither and played Guangling San. At the end of the piece, he said, "Yuan Xiaoni once asked to learn this song, but I refused. Now Guangling San has been lost!" Three thousand students from the Imperial College wrote a letter to him, asking him to be their teacher, but he was not allowed. King Wen also regretted it.
Duke Yu wanted to re-employ Zhou Zinan, but Zinan became even more stubborn in his refusal. Whenever Yu visited Zhou, Yu entered from the south gate and Zhou left from the back gate. Once, Yu arrived in a hurry and Zhou could not leave, so they stayed together all day. Yu asked Zhou for food. Zhou brought out vegetables, and Yu forced himself to eat. They were very happy. They talked about worldly affairs and agreed to recommend each other to share the responsibility of helping the world. After he entered the officialdom, he was promoted to the rank of general, 2,000 stones, but was not satisfied with it In the middle of the night he said with deep emotion: "A real man has been betrayed by Yu Yuangui!" After a sigh, he died of a rash on his back.
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
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