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The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
Huan Nanjun was summoned to be the prince's groom, and his boat was moored at Dizhu. After Wang Dafu finished, he was a little drunk and went to see Huan. Huan prepared wine, but the king could not drink it cold, so he kept saying to his attendants, "Tell them to warm the wine!" Huan then started to cry and sob, and the king wanted to leave. Huan hid his tears with his handkerchief and said to the king: "It is my family's taboo, what does it have to do with you?" The king sighed and said: "Lingbao came by himself."
When Cai Hong went to Luoyang, the people of Luoyang asked him, "When the government was first established, the officials appointed officials to seek the talented and extraordinary in the humble and to recruit the wise and talented from the caves. You are a man of Wu and Chu, the survivors of the fallen countries. What special talents do you have to be selected?" Cai replied, "The pearls that shine in the night don't have to come from the Mengjin River; the jade that fits in the hand doesn't have to be mined from the Kunlun Mountain. Dayu was born in the Dongyi, and King Wen was born in the Xiqiang. Why should the saints and wise men stay in the same place? When King Wu defeated King Zhou and moved the stubborn people to Luoyi, could you be their descendants?"
A gentleman has three worries: if he has not heard it, he worries that he will not be able to hear it; if he has heard it, he worries that he will not be able to learn it; if he has learned it, he worries that he will not be able to practice it. A gentleman has five shames: if he is in his position but does not speak the right words, he is ashamed; if he has the right words but does not act the right words, he is ashamed; if he has gained it and then lost it, he is ashamed; if the land is surplus but the people are insufficient, he is ashamed; if the number of people is equal but double, he is ashamed.
Wang Xiuling asked Wang Changshi: "How does my family, Linchuan, compare to your family, Wanling?" Changshi did not answer, Xiuling said: "Linchuan is well-known for its high reputation." Changshi said: "Wanling is not unworthy."
Li Hongdu often sighed that he was not appreciated. Yin Yangzhou knew that his family was poor and asked, "Can you bend your will and travel a hundred miles?" Li replied, "The sigh of the North Gate has long been heard by my friends. A poor ape rushes to the forest, how can it have time to choose a tree!" He was then granted Shan County.
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