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Zixia asked Confucius, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my parents?" Confucius said, "Sleep on straw and use dry wood as pillow, do not serve in the government, and do not share the world with them; if you meet them in the market, do not fight with them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my brothers?" Confucius said, "Serve in the government and do not share the country with them; if I am sent by the king, I will not fight with them even if I meet them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my uncle and brothers?" Confucius said, "If I am not the leader, if the host is capable, I will hold the weapon and accompany them behind."

When the dukes met before the appointed time, it was called "yu", and when they met in the land, it was called "hui". When the dukes sent officials to ask the dukes, it was called "pin", when they made promises, it was called "shi", and when they attended the sacrifice, it was called "meng".

When hearing about the death, one cannot go to the funeral, so he cries to the utmost; when asked why, he cries to the utmost again. Then he takes his seat, ties his hair and exposes his clothes, dances, and wears a sash and a belt to take his seat, bows to the guest and returns to his seat, dances. When the guest leaves, the host bows and sees him off outside the door, and returns to his seat; if there are guests who arrive later, he bows to them and dances, and sees them off as before. When he cries again, he ties his hair and exposes his clothes, dances. When he cries for the third time, he ties his hair and exposes his clothes again and dances. After three days, he is in mourning. After the fifth time, he bows to the guest and sees him off as before. If he returns after the funeral, When the host goes to the tomb, he cries and dances, pulls his hair to the east and exposes his mourning clothes, bows to the guests and dances, sends the guests back to their seats, cries and mourns until he has finished his work, then removes his clothes, and does not cry at home. The host does not change his clothes when treating the host, cries with him, and does not dance. From the age of mourning below, the difference is that he does not wear mourning clothes.

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