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Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
When Duke Huan was in Jingzhou, he wanted to influence the Jiang and Han rivers with his virtue, and was ashamed to use power and punishment to subdue people. The official was being beaten with a stick and was passing over the red-clothed man. Huan Shi was young and came from outside. He said, "I just passed by your Excellency and saw the clerk receiving a stick. The upper part touched the root of the cloud and the lower part touched the ground." His intention was not to criticize. Duke Huan said, "I am still worried about its severity."
The king comforts the officials and the women in the palace; the officials comfort the elders in the house and the younger nephews. The king and the officials honor their parents, wives, and eldest sons, but not their concubines; the scholars honor their parents, wives, eldest sons, and concubines. If a concubine has a son, the parents do not honor his corpse. In all cases of honoring corpses, the parents are honored first, and the wife and children are honored later. The king honors his ministers, the parents hold their sons, the son honors his parents, the wife serves her uncles and aunts, the uncles and aunts honor their wives, the wife holds her husband, and the husband holds his wife and his brothers. Honoring corpses is not the place for the king. In all cases of honoring corpses, one must jump.
Zijing wrote to Ziyou, saying "My brother and uncle are lonely and rarely get along, but when they drink, they get so drunk that they forget to go home, and that is something to be proud of."
For a man who is a son, the three gifts are not as great as a carriage and horses. Therefore, his neighbors praised him for his filial piety, his brothers and relatives praised him for his kindness, his colleagues praised him for his brotherly love, his friends praised him for his benevolence, and his acquaintances praised him for his trustworthiness. Seeing my father鈥檚 insistence, I dare not advance unless I am told to, I dare not retreat unless I am told to, and I dare not answer unless I am asked. This is the behavior of a filial son.
Meng Jia of Wuchang was an official of Yu Taiwei and was already well-known. Taifu Zhu had the ability to judge people. After leaving Yuzhang, he returned and passed by Wuchang. He asked Yu, "I heard that Meng Congshi is good. Is he here now?" Yu said, "You can go and find him yourself." Zhu stared at him for a long time, pointed at Jia and said, "This man is a little different. Could he be the right one?" Yu laughed and said, "Yes!" At that time, he admired Zhu's insight and was also happy that Jia appreciated him.
Zilu said, "I heard from the Master that in funeral rituals, it is better to have more mourning than not mourning. In sacrificial rituals, it is better to have more respect than not respect."
When Emperor Wu of Wei went to fight Yuan Benchu, he was preparing equipment and found dozens of bushels of bamboo strips left over, all several inches long. Everyone said they were unusable, so he ordered them to be burned. Taizu thought about how to use it and said it could be used as a bamboo shield, but he did not make his words public. He sent an envoy to ask the chief clerk Yang Dezuo. He answered immediately, sharing the same thought as the emperor. Everyone was amazed by his eloquence.
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