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Wang Rong was frugal and stingy. When his nephew married, he gave her only a single piece of clothing, but he later blamed her for it.
Someone asked the military governor, "How good is Yin Hao in his talks?" He replied, "I can't beat others, but I can at least win the hearts of the people."
Ritual is to the right state: it is like a scale to weight, a ruler to straightness, and a compass to squareness. Therefore, if the scale is honestly hung, it cannot be deceived by the weight; if the ruler is honestly laid out, it cannot be deceived by the crookedness; if the rules are honestly set up, it cannot be deceived by the squareness and roundness; a gentleman examines the rites and cannot be accused of treachery. Therefore, those who respect the rites and follow the rites are called the gentlemen with the rules; those who do not respect the rites and do not follow the rites are called the people without the rules. It is the way of respect and yielding. Therefore, when serving the ancestral temple, one is respectful; when entering the court, the noble and the humble have their positions; when living at home, the father and son are close and the brothers are harmonious; when living in the village, the elders and the young are in order. Confucius said: "To settle the state and govern the people, nothing is better than rites." This is what he meant.
Zengzi asked, "When the burial leads to the grave, if the sun is eclipsed, will there be changes? Or not?" Confucius said, "In the past, I followed Lao Dan to help with the burial in Xiangdang. When we reached the grave, the sun was eclipsed. Lao Dan said, 'Qiu! Stop the coffin, stand on the right side of the road, stop crying and wait for changes.' After daybreak, he turned back and went on. He said, 'It is the etiquette.' When the burial was reversed, Qiu asked, 'The coffin cannot be reversed. If the sun is eclipsed, how can we go if we don't know how late it will be?' Lao Dan said, 'The princes go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun; the officials go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun. The coffin does not leave early and does not stay late. Only criminals and those who go to the funeral of their parents go on the journey when they see the stars! The sun is eclipsed, how do you know that the stars are not visible? Moreover, a gentleman practices etiquette and does not take people's relatives as his concern. 'I heard Lao Dan say this.
Confucius cried for Zilu in the courtyard. There were people who came to pay their respects, and the Master bowed to them. After crying, he brought in the messenger and asked why. The messenger said: "It has been minced." Then he ordered to mince it.
Zi Zhang died, Zengzi had his mother's death; he went to cry in the mourning at the age of 18. Someone said: "You can't mourn at the age of 18." Zengzi said: "Why should I mourn?" At the death of Youruo, Duke Dao went to mourn, and Ziyou went from the left. At the death of Qi Gu Wang Ji, Duke Zhuang of Lu made great contributions. Some said, "She was married by Lu, so she should wear the mourning clothes of a sister." Some said, "She is my grandmother, so she should wear the mourning clothes."
What is a "mao"? It is to cover the body. From the funeral to the small funeral, if you don't set up a "mao", you will be exposed. So you set up a "mao" after the funeral. Someone asked Zengzi, "Is it like wrapping up the rest after sending it away, or wrapping up the rest after eating? Do gentlemen wrap up the rest after eating?" Zengzi said, "My son, have you not seen the great feast? In a grand feast, after the feast, the three animals are rolled up and returned to the guesthouse. Parents are treated as guests, so they mourn! Have you not seen a grand feast? "If it is not a funeral, why ask and give?
Fan Ning made Yuzhang, and on the eighth day he invited Buddha to have a board. The monks were puzzled and wanted to give an answer. A young novice monk at the end of the group said, "The Buddha's silence means that he has given his approval." The crowd agreed with his meaning.
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