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Taifu Xie and Wang Wendu went to see Xi Chao together, but as time went by and Wang had not yet arrived, he wanted to leave. Xie said: "Can't you bear it for a moment for your life?"
Yin Zhongjun was dismissed and lived in Xin'an, where he wrote on the air all day long. The officials and people of Yangzhou chased him out for justice, and secretly watched him, and saw only the four words "a very strange thing" written on his face.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
Zi You asked about funeral supplies, and Confucius said, "It is called the family's death." Zi You said, "If there is a death, how can it be prepared?" Confucius said, "If there is a death, don't go too far. If the body is dead, put the head and body together, return to the burial, hang the coffin and seal it, who will criticize it!" Si Shi Ben told Zi You, "Please cover the bed." Zi You said, "Yes." Xianzi heard it and said, "How rude Shu Shi is! He only gives people etiquette."
On the winter solstice, Zhou Boren's mother gave wine to her three sons and said, "I thought there was nowhere to go after crossing the river. Your family has a prime minister, and you all lined up before me, so what do I have to worry about?" Zhou Song stood up, knelt down and cried, "It's not as my mother said. Boren is ambitious but incompetent, famous but ignorant, and likes to take advantage of others. This is not the way to save himself. Song is a rebellious person and is not tolerated by the world. I am the only one who is idle and should be under my mother's eyes!"
Xu Yuan once visited Jianwen. It was a windy and calm night with a bright moon, so they composed music and talked in the room. Expressing one’s inner thoughts is Xu’s forte. The words are clear and graceful, more than usual. Although Jianwen and he had always been in sync, this encounter was even more regrettable. Unconsciously they knelt down and spoke with their hands, and the conversation lasted until almost dawn. Then he said: "Xuan Du has great talent and sentiment, so it is not easy to give him many compliments."
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