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Tanqi originated in the Wei Palace, where people used dressing boxes as a game. Emperor Wen was very good at this play. He used the corner of his hand towel to flick it and every time he did it he hit the target. There was a guest who claimed that he was capable, so the emperor asked him to do it. The guest picked up the chopsticks and held the corner of a hemp scarf, and lowered his head to play the chess pieces, his skill was even greater than that of the emperor.
Then why is it three years? Answer: The closest relatives are separated by a period. Why is that? Answer: The heaven and earth have changed, the four seasons have changed, and everything in the heaven and earth has been renewed, so it is a symbol. Then why is it three years? Answer: It is to add more, so why double it, so it is a double period. Why is it from September to below? Answer: Why not make it less than that. Therefore, three years is a period of mourning, a small mourning is a period of mourning, and a period of nine months is a period of mourning. Take the image from the sky above, the law from the earth below, and the example from people in the middle, and the principle of human beings living together and in harmony is complete. Therefore, the three-year mourning is the most elegant of human nature, and this is called the most solemn. This is the same for all kings, and the same for ancient and modern times, but no one knows where it comes from. Confucius said: "After three years of life, one can escape from the embrace of parents; the three-year mourning is the most common mourning in the world."
When Dai Yuan was young, he was a knight-errant who did not discipline himself and often attacked and robbed merchants between the Yangtze River and the Huai River. When Lu Ji returned to Luoyang for vacation, he had a huge baggage train. Yuan sent the young men to plunder. Yuan was on the shore, sitting on a Hu couch, directing his men and women, and they all did their job appropriately. Yuan was a man of great talent and intelligence. Although he was in a humble position, his spirit was still extraordinary. Ji said to him from afar on the boat, "You are so talented, but you still want to cause trouble?" Yuan burst into tears, threw his sword back to Ji, and spoke harshly to him. Ji valued him more and made him his friend, and wrote a letter to recommend him. After crossing the river, he was promoted to General Zhengxi.
Jia Chong’s ex-wife was the daughter of Li Feng. Feng was executed, and the couple divorced and moved to the border. Later he was pardoned and returned, and Chong had already married Guo's daughter. Emperor Wu specially appointed two ladies on his left and right. Li lived separately and refused to return to the residence. Guo said to Chong, "I want to go to Sheng Li." Chong said, "He is a man of integrity and talent. It is better for you not to go." Guo then showed her dignity and brought many maids with her. When he arrived and entered the house, Li stood up to greet him. Guo didn't realize his legs were bent, so he knelt and bowed again. After returning, he told Chong, who asked, "What can I tell you?"
The funeral of the deceased below the standard of mourning is not allowed: first go to the tomb, face west and cry out loud, remove the hemp cloth, face east, take the throne, cry and dance with the host, and then take the throne. If there is a guest, the host will bow to the guest and see him off; if there is a guest who arrives later, the host will bow to him as before. The attendant will tell them that the matter is over. Then he will wear a crown and go home, enter the door on the left, face north and cry out loud, remove the hemp cloth, then take the throne in the east, bow to the guest and dance. When the guest leaves, the host will bow to see him off. After crying again, the host will not bare the hemp cloth, then dance; after crying for the third time, the host will not bare the hemp cloth, then dance. After three days, the mourning period will be completed, and after crying for the fifth time, The lord of the house reported that the matter was completed.
Zeng Zi asked, “The ministers and officials will prepare the corpse for the Duke, and they will receive the funeral rites overnight, but there is mourning in the mourning clothes. What should we do?” Confucius said, “When the corpse is taken out, it should be kept in the palace to wait for the funeral. This is the etiquette.” Confucius said, “When the corpse is taken out with a hat and a crown, the ministers, officials, and scholars should all get out of the way. The corpse must be arranged in a proper manner and must be led in front.” Zixia asked, “Is it the etiquette that the mourning period of three years is over and there is no need to avoid the funeral rites? Was there a supervisor at the beginning?” Confucius said, “The three-year mourning period of the Xia Dynasty was over, and the funeral rites were held after the funeral. The Yin people held the funeral rites after the burial. The Records says, ‘A gentleman does not deprive others of their relatives, and one should not deprive them of their relatives.’ Is this what it means?” Zixia said, “There is no need to avoid the funeral rites, is it not? Confucius said, "I heard Lao Dan say that Duke Boqin of Lu did it for a purpose. I don't know who is following the benefit of the three-year mourning period now!"
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