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The Duke said, “Why don’t gentlemen today practice this?” Confucius said, “Gentlemen today are insatiable in their love of goods, untiring in their indulgence of virtue, idle and arrogant, and are sure to destroy the people. They use the people at noon to attack those who have the Way; they seek what they want, not what they should. In the past, people were used from the front, but now people are used from the back. Gentlemen today do not practice etiquette.”
When Deng You first sought refuge, he abandoned his own son on the road and saved his disciples. After crossing the river, he took a concubine and loved her very much. Many years later, when I asked him about the reason, I was told that he was a northerner who had suffered from rebellion. I remembered his parents' names and found out that he was You's nephew. You had always been a virtuous man with impeccable words and deeds. When he heard about this, he felt grief and resentment for the rest of his life and never kept a concubine again.
General Yu fought with Su Jun and was defeated. He led more than ten people and fled west in a small boat. The soldiers were plundering each other and the arrow accidentally hit the beam worker, who fell down at the sound of the arrow. Everyone on the boat turned pale and dispersed. Liang remained unmoved and said slowly, "How can this hand be used to thieve chopsticks!" Everyone then calmed down.
There was a vacancy for the position of captain of infantry, and there were several hundred hu of wine stored in the kitchen, so Ruan Ji asked to be the captain of infantry.
Zhang Ping recommended him as a filial and honest official and sent him out of the capital. He was so proud of his talent that he said he would be among the great men of the time. When he wanted to see Liu Yin, his fellow villagers and those who had made the same decision laughed at him. Zhang then went to Liu. Liu Xizhuo was in charge of the affairs, sitting in the office, only aware of the cold and heat, and his mind was not in tune with it. Zhang wants to act spontaneously without any reason. Soon, the Chief Secretary and other wise men came to give clear advice. When there was a disagreement between the host and the guest, Zhang would judge from a distance, sitting at the end of the table. His words were concise but profound, and were enough to express the thoughts of both parties. Everyone in the room was amazed. Zhen Changyan sat on the top and talked all day long, so he stayed overnight until dawn. When Zhang retreated, Liu said, "You go now. I will take you to Fujun together." Zhang returned to the boat and asked his friend where to stay. Zhang smiled but did not answer. Soon, Zhenchang sent missionaries to find Zhang Xiaolian's boat, and his companions were shocked. They were taken to Fujun together. When they arrived at the gate, Liu Qianjin said to Fujun, "Today I have found a brilliant choice of Doctor of the Ministry of Rites for you!" When he went forward, Fujun talked to him, praised him and said, "Zhang Pingbo is a master of reasoning." He then appointed him as Doctor of the Ministry of Rites.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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