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Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
Even if there are delicious dishes, if you don't eat them, you don't know their taste; even if there are the ultimate truth, if you don't learn it, you don't know its goodness. Therefore, only after learning can you know your shortcomings, and only after teaching can you know your difficulties. Knowing your shortcomings, you can reflect on yourself; knowing your difficulties, you can strengthen yourself. Therefore, it is said that teaching and learning complement each other. "The Book of Changes" says: "Learning is half done." Is this what it means!
The record of the crown prince says: When he arrives at the door of the great bedroom in the morning and evening, he asks the eunuch: "How are you today?" The eunuch says: "Today is good." The crown prince will be happy. If there is something wrong, the eunuch will tell the crown prince, and the crown prince will look worried and dissatisfied. The eunuch says "return to the beginning", and then he will return to the beginning. When the food is served in the morning and evening, the crown prince must be there to check the cold and warm. After the food is served, ask what is delicious. He must know what is served, and order the chef to take care of it, and then leave. If the eunuch says "illness", the crown prince will take care of it in person. The food prepared by the chef must be looked at with respect; the medicine for illness must be tasted personally. If the food is good, the prince can eat it; if the food is poor, the prince cannot be full; until it returns to the original state, then it will return to the original state.
When there is a funeral, if you hear of the funeral of a distant brother, you must go even if you are in mourning; if you are not a brother, you will not go even if you are a neighbor. All the brothers who do not live together will pay their respects. The emperor's coffin has four layers; the water rhinoceros leather coffin is covered with it, which is three inches thick, one 杷 coffin, two 杷 coffins, and all four are round. The coffin is tied with two 杷 three, and each 衛 is tied with one. The coffin of the uncle is six feet long at the end.
When Gu Rong was in Luoyang, he once accepted someone's invitation. He noticed that the person who was roasting meat wanted to be roasted too, so he stopped what he was doing. Those sitting together laughed at him. Rong said, "How can one hold it all day long and not know its taste?" Later, when he encountered chaos and had to cross the river, every time he was in danger, there was always one person by his side. When he asked him why, he found out that he was the one who was being burned.
In ancient times, those who wanted to manifest the bright virtue in the world first governed their country. Those who wanted to govern their country first put their family in order. If you want to make your family in order, you must first cultivate yourself. If you want to cultivate yourself, you must first rectify your heart. If you want to rectify your heart, you must first be sincere in your intentions. If you want to be sincere in your intentions, you must first acquire knowledge. Acquiring knowledge lies in investigating things. After investigating things, knowledge is achieved. After knowledge is achieved, intentions are sincere. After intentions are sincere, hearts are rectified. After hearts are rectified, the body is cultivated. After the body is cultivated, the family is in order. After the family is in order, the country is governed. After the country is governed, the world is peaceful.
When Prime Minister Wang crossed the river, he said that he had often talked about Taoism with Pei Chenggong, Ruan Qianli and other wise men by the Luo River. Yang Man said, "I have promised you this a long time ago, why do you need it again?" The king said, "I didn't say I needed it, I just wanted it and it was not available at that time!"
Therefore, the teaching of ritual is subtle, and it can stop evil before it takes shape, making people move towards good and stay away from crimes without knowing it. That is why the ancient kings respected it. The Book of Changes says: "A gentleman should be cautious at the beginning, and the error of a millimeter will lead to a thousand miles." This is what it means.
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