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After Duke Huan abolished Haixi and established Jianwen, the attendant Xie Gong met Duke Huan and paid homage to him. Huan was surprised and laughed, "Anshi, what brings you here?" Xie replied, "I have never seen a king bow before me and a minister stand behind me!"
When the father called him, he nodded but did not agree. He threw away the work in his hand, spit out the food in his mouth, and ran but did not walk.
Zhou Pushe was a man of graceful appearance and good manners. When he went to see the prince, he hid himself among a few people at first, and the prince looked at him with a smile. After sitting down, he whistled and chanted proudly. The prince asked, "Do you want to be like Ji and Ruan?" He replied, "How dare I stay close to you and be far away from Ji and Ruan!"
Kong Tingwei gave the fur coat to his cousin Chen, but Chen refused to accept it. The Chief Justice said, "Yan Pingzhong was so frugal that he offered sacrifices to his ancestors. He wore a pig's shoulder that was not enough to cover his bowl, and he also wore a fox fur coat for decades. Why do you refuse this?" So he accepted it and wore it.
The Wei Dynasty appointed King Wen of Jin as Duke and prepared nine gifts, but King Wen refused to accept them. The ministers, generals and officers should go to the government office to give instructions. Sikong Zheng Chongchi sent a letter to Ruan Ji asking for literature. At that time, Ji was at Yuan Xiaoni's house. He was helped up from a drunken stupor and wrote a letter, but without any final word, he just wrote it and gave it to the messenger. People at that time thought it was a magic pen.
Wang Ziyou and Zijing were both seriously ill, but Zijing died first. Ziyou asked his attendants, "Why haven't we heard any news? He is already dead!" He showed no sadness at all when he spoke. They asked for a sedan chair and came to the funeral, but did not cry. Zijing had always loved the zither, so he went straight in and sat on the coffin, took out Zijing's zither and played it. When the strings were out of tune, he threw it to the ground and said, "Zijing! Zijing! Both you and the zither are gone." He was in grief for a long time, and died more than a month later.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
"No! In the beginning of Lu, the royal family looked at the Fengbei, and the three families looked at the Huanying. In the same way, if someone's mother was skilled, then can't you do it? Is his mother skilled? Is she sick? Alas!" He didn't follow it.
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