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The study of memorizing and asking questions is not enough to be a teacher. It is necessary to listen to the words, and if you can't ask them, then tell them; if you don't understand after the words, you can just give up.
There were many famous scholars in Sima Taifu's mansion, most of whom were outstanding at the time. Yu Wenkang said: "Seeing Zisong among them, he always thinks he is a god."
There was a little boy in Zhongchao whose father was sick, so he begged for medicine. The host asked about his illness, and he said, "I have malaria." The host said, "You are a noble and virtuous gentleman, why do you have malaria?" He replied, "I came to be a gentleman, so I have malaria."
Xu Yun was the Minister of Personnel and he employed many people from his hometown. Emperor Ming of Wei therefore sent the Tiger Guards to recruit him. His wife came out and warned Yun, saying, "A wise ruler can take things away with reason, but it is difficult to persuade him with emotion." When Yun arrived, the emperor questioned her. Yun replied, "'Tell me who you know.' I know the people from my hometown. Your Majesty, please check whether they are competent for the job. If not, I will bear the consequences." After the inspection, all the people were appointed to the right positions, so Yun was released. Yun's clothes were worn out, so the emperor ordered him to be given new clothes. At first, when Yun was arrested, the whole family cried. Ruan's new wife said calmly, "Don't worry, he will be back soon." She prepared millet porridge and waited for him, and soon he arrived.
The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
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