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The Duke said, “Why don’t gentlemen today practice this?” Confucius said, “Gentlemen today are insatiable in their love of goods, untiring in their indulgence of virtue, idle and arrogant, and are sure to destroy the people. They use the people at noon to attack those who have the Way; they seek what they want, not what they should. In the past, people were used from the front, but now people are used from the back. Gentlemen today do not practice etiquette.”
Emperor Wen once ordered the King of Dong'e to compose a poem within seven steps. If he failed, he would be punished. He immediately composed a poem: "Cook the beans and make soup, strain the beans to make juice. The firewood is burning under the pot, and the beans are crying in the pot. We are from the same root, why are we so eager to harm each other?" The emperor looked deeply ashamed.
Confucius returned first, and his disciples came later. It was raining heavily. When he arrived, Confucius asked him: "Why are you so late?" He said: "The tomb in Fang collapsed." Confucius did not answer., Confucius burst into tears and said: "I heard that in ancient times, tombs were not repaired."
Zhuge Hong had a good reputation when he was young in the Western Dynasty. He was highly regarded by Wang Yifu and was also compared to Wang by people at the time. Later, he was slandered by his stepmother's clan and accused of being a traitor. When he was about to move far away, his friend Wang Yi-fu and his companions came to the prison cart to say goodbye to him. Hong asked, "Why did the court banish me?" The king said, "They said you were a madman and a rebel." Hong said, "If you are a rebel, you should be killed. Why should a madman be banished?"
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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