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When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
Use less than half for the pot throwing ceremony, and use all for the archery ceremony. The archer, the chief judge, and the standing scholar all belong to the guest party; the musicians, the messengers, and the boys all belong to the host party.
When the dukes met the emperor, they called themselves "minister so-and-so" and "hou so-and-so". When they talked with the people, they called themselves "guaren"; when they were in mourning clothes, they called themselves "shizigu". When they attended sacrifices, they called themselves "filial son so-and-so and hou so-and-so" in the inner court, and "great-grandson so-and-so and hou so-and-so" in the outer court. When they died, they called themselves "hong", and when they came back, they called themselves "so-and-so fu fu yi". When they met the emperor after the burial, it was called "lei jian". When they talked about posthumous titles, it was called "lei".
Women who are not in mourning for three years should not go beyond their fiefdoms to offer condolences. If they are in mourning for three years, then the wife of the ruler will return home.
The Master said: "Listen carefully! The three women, I told you: there are still nine etiquettes, and four great feasts. If you know this, even if you do it in the fields, you will be a sage. When two kings meet, they bow and yield to each other before entering the door, and then they go up to the hall after bowing and yielding to each other, and then the music stops. They play Xiang and Wu, Xia and Yue in sequence. They set out their offerings, arrange their rituals and music, and prepare their hundreds of officials. Only in this way can a gentleman know benevolence. He follows the rules and returns to the rules, and he is in harmony with the phoenix. When a guest leaves, he is in harmony with the phoenix, and he is in harmony with the feathers. Therefore, a gentleman knows everything in etiquette. When he enters the door, the sound of gold is made to show his feelings. When he rises to sing Qingmiao, he is indebted to his virtue. When he goes down to play Xiang, he is indebted to his deeds. Therefore, the gentlemen of ancient times did not need to talk to each other in person, but only showed each other etiquette and music.
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