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Confucian scholars live in a difficult place, sit up and stand respectfully, speak first and be honest, and act uprightly. They do not compete for the benefits of danger and ease on the road, and do not compete for the harmony of yin and yang in winter and summer. They love death and wait for it, and nourish their bodies and do things. They are like this in their preparation.
When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
Yu Fa started out competing for fame with Zhi Gong, but later his spirit gradually returned to Zhi Gong, which made Yu Fa very angry, so he fled to Yanxia. He sent his disciples out of the capital to send envoys to Kuaiji. Yu Shizhi impartially lectured on skits. The disciple who was given the precepts said: "Daolin said that when you arrived, it should be in a certain volume." He then pointed out the problems dozens of times and said: "The old passage is no longer accessible." The disciple did as he was told and went to Master Zhi. I am currently giving a lecture, so I would like to express my thoughts. After going back and forth for a long time, Lord Lin finally surrendered. He said sternly: "How can you be trusted with a ride again?"
When Wang Zhonglang was young, Jiang Fei was in charge of selecting Pushe and wanted to appoint him as Shangshulang. There is a king of words. The king said, "Since I came across the river, the Shangshu Lang has been recruiting the second person, why should he choose me?" Jiang stopped when he heard this. He said: "The Xuan Cao selected you to be the Shangshu Lang. Fortunately, you can serve as an assistant to the kings, right? ’” This shows that the Langguan is of a poor and simple rank.
When Grand Tutor Xi was in Jingkou, he sent his disciples to write to Prime Minister Wang, asking for a son-in-law. The Prime Minister said to Xi Xin: "You can go to the east wing and choose anyone you like." The disciple returned and told Xi Xin: "The young men in the Wang family are all commendable. When they heard that you were looking for a son-in-law, they all behaved politely. Only one young man was lying on the bed with his belly exposed, as if he didn't hear anything." Xi Gong said: "This is exactly what we want!
Wang Wuzi and Sun Zijing each spoke of the beauty of their land and people. Wang said: "The land is flat and level, the water is fresh and clear, and the people are honest and steadfast." Sun said: "The mountains are steep and rugged, the water is turbulent, and the people are brave and heroic."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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