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The Invincible Son-in-Law

Using jade and jade scepters to betroth is to attach importance to etiquette; returning jade and jade scepters after the betrothal is the meaning of ignoring money and valuing etiquette. The princes are strict with each other to despise money and value etiquette, so the people will be polite. When the lord entertains guests, he will go in and out three times, feed the guests in the house, and the five kinds of meat will be displayed inside. Thirty carts of rice, thirty carts of grain, and hay and firewood are all displayed outside. Five pairs of birds are mounted every day, and all the animals have food and meat. One meal is twice a meal, and there are countless gifts at banquets and occasions, so the etiquette is heavy. Ancient people could not use money in this way, but those who used money so generously said that they were very polite. If you follow the rites, the ruler and his subjects will not bully each other, and the subjects will not invade each other. Therefore, the emperor made it, and the princes should follow it.

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The Master said, “If there is a car, you must see its rails; if there is a garment, you must see its wear; if someone talks about it, you must hear its sound; if someone walks about it, you must see its completion. The Ge Tan says, ‘If you wear it, you must shoot it.’” The Master said, “If you follow what you say, then your words cannot be embellished; if you follow what you say, then your actions cannot be embellished. Therefore, a gentleman speaks little, but walks to establish his credibility, so that the people cannot exaggerate his virtues and minimize his faults. The Book of Songs says, ‘The stain on the jade tablet can still be polished; the stain on this speech cannot be made.’ The Xiaoya says, ‘The gentleman is sincere, and the development is great.’ The Jun Shi says, ‘In the past, when the God of Heaven was in power, Zhou Tian observed the virtue of King Wen, and he gathered the great destiny in his body.’” The Master said, “The southerners have a saying, ‘If a man is not constant, he cannot be used for divination.’ Is this the saying left by the ancients? Even the tortoise shells cannot tell, let alone people? The Book of Songs says: ‘My tortoise is tired, but I still don’t tell it.’ The Book of Changes says: ‘The title is not equal to the bad virtue. The people stand up and do the right things. They are pure and offer sacrifices. This is disrespectful; things are complicated and chaotic, and serving the gods is difficult.’ The Book of Changes says: ‘If you don’t keep your virtue, you may suffer shame. If you keep your virtue, it will be auspicious for women and bad for men.’”