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Xie Gong said: "The wise and sages leave people behind, and their leisure time is also close." His sons and nephews did not agree with him. The Duke sighed and said, "If Xi Chao heard this, he would never reach the Hehan River."
The son of a good blacksmith must learn to make fur coats; the son of a good archer must learn to make winnowing baskets; the beginner must do the opposite, with the chariot in front of the horse. A gentleman who observes these three things can be determined to study.
Wang Runan was young and unmarried, so he asked for Hao Pu's daughter. Sikong thought she was stupid and had no place to get married, so he followed her wishes and agreed to her marriage. After marriage, she was indeed beautiful and virtuous. Born in Donghai, she became the mother of Wang. Someone asked Runan how he knew this? He said, "I have seen him fetching water from a well. His movements and bearing were normal and he never offended anyone. I know this from this."
The Master said: "Listen carefully! The three women, I told you: there are still nine etiquettes, and four great feasts. If you know this, even if you do it in the fields, you will be a sage. When two kings meet, they bow and yield to each other before entering the door, and then they go up to the hall after bowing and yielding to each other, and then the music stops. They play Xiang and Wu, Xia and Yue in sequence. They set out their offerings, arrange their rituals and music, and prepare their hundreds of officials. Only in this way can a gentleman know benevolence. He follows the rules and returns to the rules, and he is in harmony with the phoenix. When a guest leaves, he is in harmony with the phoenix, and he is in harmony with the feathers. Therefore, a gentleman knows everything in etiquette. When he enters the door, the sound of gold is made to show his feelings. When he rises to sing Qingmiao, he is indebted to his virtue. When he goes down to play Xiang, he is indebted to his deeds. Therefore, the gentlemen of ancient times did not need to talk to each other in person, but only showed each other etiquette and music.
Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
Zhi Daolin first came from the east and lived in Dong'an Temple. Wang Changshi had a meticulous plan and had written a brilliant essay. When he talked with Zhi about it, he could not quite get along with him. Wang Xuzhi wrote several hundred words, claiming that they were full of famous theories and extraordinary writings. Zhi said slowly, "I have not seen you for many years, and you have made no progress in your righteousness." Wang was ashamed and left.
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