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Men and women do not know each other without a matchmaker; they do not interact or get close to each other without money. Therefore, the sun and the moon are used to inform the king, and all warnings are used to inform the ghosts and gods. Wine and food are prepared to invite neighbors and colleagues to show their respect.
Xie Gong kept prostitutes in Dongshan. Jianwen said: "Anshi must come out. Since he shares happiness with others, he also has to share sorrow with others."
Guo Huai was the governor of Guanzhong. He was very popular among the people and also had many military achievements. Huai's wife was the sister of Grand Commandant Wang Ling, and she should be executed together with Wang Ling for the crime. The envoy's call is very urgent, and the Huai envoy should pack up and set out soon. The civil and military officials of the prefecture as well as the common people urged Huai to raise an army, but Huai refused. When the time came, he sent his wife away, and tens of thousands of people cried and shouted. After walking for dozens of miles, Huai ordered his men to chase the lady back, and then all the civil and military officials rushed forward as if they were protecting their own lives. When he arrived, Huai wrote to Emperor Xuan, saying: "The five sons are in sorrow and miss their mother. If their mother dies, there will be no five sons. If the five sons die, there will be no Huai either." Emperor Xuan responded with a letter and specifically pardoned Huai's wife.
Jia Chong's wife, Li, wrote a set of instructions for girls, which were circulated in the world. The daughter of Li, the wife of King Xian of Qi, and the daughter of Guo, the empress of Emperor Hui. After Chong died, Li and Guo's daughters each wanted to be buried together with their mother, but they could not decide for years. After Empress Jia was deposed, Lady Li was enshrined in the royal family and the burial was decided.
The people of Wei believed that turtles were knowledgeable. Chen Ziche died in Wei. His wife and her family's senior officials planned to bury him alive with her. After the plan was finalized, Chen Zikang arrived and told her, "My master is ill and there is no one to take care of him. Please bury him alive with me." Zikang said, "Burying him alive with me is not a courtesy. Even if I do, who should take care of him like my wife and the prime minister? If I have to, I will do it. If I have to, I will let my two sons do it." So he did not do it.
When Ruan Ji's mother died, he enjoyed wine and meat in the presence of King Wen of Jin. Si Li He Zeng was also present and said, "Your Excellency is ruling the world with filial piety, but Ruan Ji is in a state of mourning and is seen drinking and eating meat in front of you. You should exile him overseas to correct the morals." King Wen said, "The successor to the throne is so disgraced, and you cannot share my sorrow. What's the point? Besides, drinking and eating meat when one is ill is a mourning custom!" Ji continued to drink and eat, looking calm.
Taishu Guang was very eloquent, and Zhi Zhongzhi was good at calligraphy, and both of them became ministers. Whenever he sat down with the Duke, they would talk extensively, but Zhongzhi could not respond. It is difficult to express my thoughts broadly if I retreat, and I cannot answer if I express my thoughts broadly.
There are three reasons for not mourning a death: fear, disgust, and drowning.
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