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The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
Xu Xuandu hid in a secluded cave in the south of Yongxing, and often received gifts from princes from all directions. Someone said to Xu: "I have heard that the man from Jishan is not like that!" Xu said: "The baskets and boxes are just a few straw, so they should be lighter than the treasures in the world!"
The emperor collected taxes, and went through the ranks of soldiers, and personally swore an oath to the gods to train the army. He moved left and right, sat and stood up to observe their changes; and showed them the birds and salted the benefits to observe whether they would not violate orders. He sought to subdue their wills, and did not covet their gains, so that he would win in battle and receive blessings in sacrifice.
Yu Gong had a horse called Lu, and someone told him to sell it. Yu said: "If you sell it, there must be a buyer, which will harm the owner. Would you rather not be safe yourself and transfer it to others? In the past, Sun Shuao killed a two-headed snake for future generations. It was a good story in ancient times. If you follow his example, wouldn't you be wise?"
When Taifu Xie had not yet come of age and had just left for the west, he went to see Changshi Wang and had a long and clear conversation with him. After he left, Gou Zi asked, "How respectful is Xiangke?" The chief secretary said, "Xiangke is so noisy that he is coming to force people."
When Jin Jianwen was the governor of an army, the dust on the bed he sat on was so thick that he could not even hear the dust brushed away. He could see the footprints of a rat and thought it was a good thing. A military officer saw a rat walking in broad daylight and ordered it to be killed with a board in his hand. The governor was unhappy with this and his men rose up in protest. The teacher said: "I cannot forget the fact that I was harmed by rats. Now, is it wrong to use rats to harm people?"
The one who presents the table and the staff should brush it. The one who imitates a horse or a sheep should lead it with his right hand; the one who imitates a dog should lead it with his left hand. The one who holds a bird should hold it with his left hand. The one who decorates lambs and geese should hold it with a silk cloth. The one who receives pearls and jade should hold it with his hands. The one who receives a bow and sword should hold it with his sleeves. The one who drinks from a jade cup should not wave it. Anyone who asks for a bow, sword, bag, or basket to ask for a favor should hold it as if he were receiving a favor, just like a messenger.
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