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Ritual: In the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should only speak but not answer; in the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should answer but not speak; in the mourning of great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in the mourning of small merit, one should discuss but not play music.
Wang Dongting was the chief clerk of Xuanwu. One spring day, he and his brothers Shitou rode on horseback to the suburbs. Shi Yan and his fellow travelers marched together. Only one person from Dongting was always in front, and he could sense it several dozen steps away, but no one could understand it. Shitou and others were tired, and soon the imperial carriage returned. Everyone seemed to be an official, except Dongting Yiyi who was standing in front. His understanding is so quick.
When a girl is betrothed, she is given a tassel; unless there is a serious reason, she will not enter the bride's house. When aunts, sisters, and daughters return home after getting married, brothers should not sit at the same table with them, nor eat from the same utensils with them. Father and son sit at different tables.
The prime minister controls the state expenditures, and he must do so at the end of the year, when all the grains have been harvested. The size of the land used depends on the harvest and loss of the year. The state expenditures are controlled based on the general situation of thirty years, and the expenditures are calculated according to the income, and the number of sacrifices is calculated. In mourning, there is no sacrifice for three years, and only sacrifices to heaven, earth, and the altar of grain are performed. The mourning period is three years. In funerals and sacrifices, if the expenditure is insufficient, it is called excessive; if the expenditure is sufficient, it is called lavish. In sacrifices, do not be extravagant in good years and do not be frugal in bad years. A country without nine years of reserves is called insufficient; without six years of reserves, it is called urgent; without three years of reserves, it is not a country. Three years of farming will ensure one year of food; nine years of farming will ensure three years of food. With thirty years of peace, even if there is a disaster, drought or flood, and the people have no vegetables, then the emperor will eat and celebrate every day.
As a son, you should not live in the main hall, sit in the middle of the seat, walk in the middle of the road, or stand in the middle of the door. Food is not for the sake of abundance, and sacrifice is not for the sake of corpses. Listen to the silent and see the invisible. Do not climb high, do not stand near deep places. Don't criticize carelessly, don't smile carelessly.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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