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The etiquette of being a minister: do not make public remonstrances. If you remonstrate three times and he does not listen, then flee.
Sun Xinggong wrote a eulogy for Yu Gong, which contained many words of concern. When it was completed, he showed it to Yu Daoen. When Yu saw it, he sent it back with emotion, saying, "My ancestors and you would never have come to this."
Zhuge Hui's eldest daughter married the son of Grand Marshal Yu Liang, and his second daughter married the son of Xuzhou Governor Yang Chen. Liangzi was killed by Su Jun, so he married Jiang Yu instead. Hui'er married Deng You's daughter. At that time, Shangshu Xie asked for his youngest daughter's marriage. Hui then said: "Yang and Deng have been married for generations. The Jiang family takes care of me, and the Yu family takes care of me. I cannot marry Xie Pei'er again." After Hui died, they got married. So Wang Youjun
Zheng Xuan was a student of Ma Rong for three years, but they were not able to meet each other. He was just a senior disciple and was taught by him. I tried to calculate the celestial body and found that it was not in harmony, and none of my disciples could explain it. Some say that the mysterious person can summon and calculate, and can make a decision in one turn.
In mourning for parents, one wears a mourning hat with a tassel and straw sandals, eats porridge for three days, bathes for three months, wears a silk hat after thirteen months, and auspiciousness comes after three years. By comparing these three festivals, the benevolent can observe their love, the wise can observe their reason, and the strong can observe their will. Govern with propriety, correct with righteousness, and filial sons, younger brothers, and chaste wives can all be observed.
The so-called sincerity of intention is not to deceive oneself. If you hate bad smells and love beautiful women, this is called being modest. Therefore, a gentleman must be careful when he is alone. A villain does evil things when he is idle, and he does everything. When he sees a gentleman, he becomes disgusted, and hides his evil and shows his good. If people look at themselves as if they can see their lungs and livers, what good will it do? This is called sincerity in the heart, which is reflected in the outside, so a gentleman must be careful when he is alone. Zengzi said: "Ten eyes are watching, ten hands are pointing, how strict it is!" Wealth enriches the house, virtue enriches the body, and the heart is broad and the body is fat, so a gentleman must be sincere in his intentions.
At the funeral of Sikou Huizi, Ziyou prepared hemp mourning clothes and hemp sash for him. Wen Zi declined, saying, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him. How dare you decline?" Ziyou said, "It is the rite." Wen Zi retreated and cried again. Ziyou hurried to the seats of the ministers. Wen Zi declined again, saying, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him, and you are insulted to attend his funeral. How dare you decline?" Ziyou said, "I insist on asking." Wen Zi retreated, helped Shi Zi to stand facing south, and said, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him, and you are insulted to attend his funeral. How dare you not return to your position?" Ziyou hurried to the guest seat. At the funeral of General Wenzi, after the mourning period was over, the people of Yue came to offer their condolences. The host wore a deep robe and a white cap, waited in the temple, weeping. Ziyou looked at him and said, "General Wen's son is almost a commoner! He is a man of honor who died according to the etiquette, and his actions are in the right place."
Chen Ying was from Dongyang. He cultivated moral conduct at a young age and was well-known among his fellow villagers. At the end of the Qin Dynasty, when chaos broke out, the people of Dongyang wanted to take Ying as their master, but his mother said, "No! As your wife, I have rarely seen poverty and humbleness. Once I become rich and noble, it will be unlucky! It is better to take the army and make it yours: if it succeeds, you will get less benefit; if it fails, you will suffer the consequences."
When the meal is finished, the guest kneels in front and finishes the meal and gives it to the prime minister. The host stands up and says goodbye to the guest, and then the guest sits down. When serving drinks to elders, one must stand up when the wine is served and bow to receive it. The elder said goodbye, and the younger one returned to the table and drank. The elders raised the wine but it was not brewed yet, and the younger ones dared not drink. When elders give gifts, the young and the humble dare not refuse. When fruit is given to the king, those who have seeds should keep the seeds in their pockets. When I serve food to the king, and the king gives me other things, the parts of the vessels that are used to irrigate them do not need to be written, but the rest should be written.
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