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When the senior officials and scholars meet the king, if the king is pleased with them, they shall step aside, bow twice and kowtow; if the king greets them, they shall step aside and dare not return the bow. When the senior officials and scholars meet, even if they are of different ranks, if the host respects the guest, he shall bow to the guest first; if the guest respects the host, he shall bow to the host first. Unless they are mourning or meeting the king, they shall return the bow.
Prime Minister Wang's chief clerk wanted to inspect the accounts. The official said to the chief clerk: "If you want to get along with the chief clerk, don't get involved in trivial matters."
Bo Gao died in Wei and went to Confucius. Confucius said: "Why should I cry? For my brothers, I cry in the temple; for my father's friends, I cry outside the temple gate; for my teacher, I cry in the bedroom; for my friends, I cry outside the bedroom door; for my acquaintances, I cry in the wild. In the wild, it is already distant; in the bedroom, it is already important. Since You Ci came to see me, I cried to Ci's family." Then he ordered Zigong to be the host and said: "If you come to cry for you, bow to him; if you know that Bo Gao came, don't bow."
Sima Taifu asked Xie Cheqi: "Hui Zi wrote five carts of books, why is there not a single word that touches the profound?" Xie said: "It must be that the wonderful part was not passed on."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Yu Gong had a horse called Lu, and someone told him to sell it. Yu said: "If you sell it, there must be a buyer, which will harm the owner. Would you rather not be safe yourself and transfer it to others? In the past, Sun Shuao killed a two-headed snake for future generations. It was a good story in ancient times. If you follow his example, wouldn't you be wise?"
During the funeral of Confucius, Gong Xichi wrote a memorial: decorating the coffin and the wall, setting up the bamboo and the shawl, which was Zhou; setting up the Chong, which was Yin; setting up the silk and the flag, which was Xia.
During the Su Jun Rebellion, General Yu fled south to meet Lord Tao. Mr. Tao admired and respected him. Tao was frugal by nature. When he was eating, he would eat leeks, so Yu left some blank. Tao asked, "What is the use of this?" Yu said, "So that it can be planted." Tao then sighed that Yu was not only a romantic man, but also a practical man.
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