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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Zixia had just finished mourning and came to see me. I played the zither, but it didn't harmonize, and it didn't make any sound when I played it. He stood up and said, "I have not forgotten my grief. The ancient kings established the rites, and I dare not go beyond them."
Li Xin was the fifth son of Mao Zeng. He was pure and chaste and had high ideals, but he was weak and sickly when he was young and refused to marry or take up a career in government. He lived in Linhai, near the tomb of his brother, the Shizhong. Since he had a high reputation, Prime Minister Wang wanted to invite him to a position of honor, so he appointed him as an official in the government. When Xin received the letter, he said with a smile, "Maohong has lent me another cup of wine!"
Wang Shuang was drinking with Sima Taifu. The Grand Tutor was drunk and called the king "boy." The king said, "My late grandfather, the Chief Secretary, was a friend of Emperor Jianwen. My late aunt and sister were married and had two concubines. How can they be called boys?"
The sage kings set up sacrifices: those who apply the law to the people are sacrificed; those who die in the service of the country are sacrificed; those who work hard to stabilize the country are sacrificed; those who can resist great disasters are sacrificed; those who can defend against great disasters are sacrificed. Therefore, when Lishan ruled the world, his son was called Nong, who was able to grow hundreds of grains; when Xia declined, Zhou Qi succeeded him, so he was sacrificed as Ji. When Gonggong ruled the nine states, his son was called Hou Tu, who was able to pacify the nine states, so he was sacrificed as She. Emperor Ku was able to arrange the stars to show the people; Yao was able to reward and equalize the law and end his life with justice; Shun worked hard at many things but died in the wild. Gun was killed by floods, and Yu was able to restore Gun's achievements. Huangdi rectified the names of all things to make it clear that the people share the wealth, and Zhuanxu was able to restore it. Qi was the Minister of Education and the people were prosperous; Ming worked hard in his office and died in a flood. Tang ruled the people with leniency and eliminated their cruelty; King Wen ruled with civility, and King Wu ruled with military merits to eliminate the people's disasters. These are all those who have made great contributions to the people. The sun, moon, and stars are what the people look up to; the mountains, forests, rivers, valleys, and hills are what the people use as materials. They are not of this clan and are not included in the sacrificial rites.
When Confucius passed by the side of Mount Tai, a woman was crying at a grave. Confucius stood up and listened to her. He asked Zilu to ask her, "Your crying seems to be deeply worried." She said, "Yes, my uncle died of a tiger in the past, my husband also died there, and now my son has died there too." The Master asked, "Why don't you leave?" She said, "No harsh government." The Master said, "My boy, you know it. Harsh government is more fierce than a tiger."
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