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Time Travel: Yan Zhifei Fu

My blind date is the male doctor who performed surgery on my anus

Xie Lingyun liked to wear a hat with a curved handle. The hermit Kong said to him, "If you want to have lofty ambitions, why can't you forget the appearance of the curved hat?" Xie replied, "If you will not be afraid of your shadow, you will not be able to forget it."

The rich man's joy: the director's debt-paying bride

Confucius got up early, put his hands behind his back and dragged his stick, and swayed at the door, singing, "Is Mount Tai collapsing? Is the beam breaking? Is the philosopher withering?" After singing, he went in and sat in front of the door. Zigong heard it and said, "If Mount Tai collapses, where can I look up? If the beam breaks and the philosopher withers, where can I go? Master, I am afraid you will be ill." Then he hurried in. The Master said, "Ci! Why are you so late? The Xia emperor was buried on the east steps, which was like being in the east; the Yin people buried between the two pillars, which meant that they were flanked by the host and the guest; the Zhou people buried on the west steps, which was like being the guest. And I am a Yin person. Last night, I dreamed that I was sitting and lying between the two pillars. If a wise king does not rise, who in the world can respect me? I am about to die." He died after seven days of illness.

The four colors are harmonious, and the heart is happy

When serving, you must leave the seat; if you don’t leave, you must leave the party of the king. If you don’t go to the front to get on the seat, it is called jumping the seat. If you sit alone and don’t use the full length of the mat, read and eat, then level, and the bowl is one foot away from the mat. If you give food to someone and the king is the guest, then order him to offer sacrifices, and then offer sacrifices; first eat, argue and taste the food, drink and wait. If there is anyone who wants to taste food, he should wait until the king has finished eating, then eat, eat, drink and wait. If the king orders food, and food is close to him, he should order him to taste it, and then he will eat what he wants. Whenever you eat food far away, you must follow the food near you. You dare not eat before the king covers his hands; after the king has eaten, he eats and eats, and eating and eating is three meals. After the king has finished, he takes the rice and sauce, and then leaves and gives it to the followers. Whenever you serve food, you don’t eat everything; you don’t get full from eating from others. Only water and porridge are not offered as a sacrifice, and if you offer it as a sacrifice, it is humiliating for your peers. If the king gives you a cup, you should cross the table and bow twice to receive it, and then go up to the table to offer it. Drink the cup and wait for the king to finish the cup, and then give the empty cup. When a gentleman drinks, he will be ashamed when he receives one cup, and he will talk about it after two cups. After three cups, he will leave with a smile. When he leaves, he will sit down and take his shoes, and then take his shoes away. When sitting on the left, he will take the right, and when sitting on the right, he will take the left. All vessels must be served with dark wine, only the emperor's vessel is served, only the common people are served with wine, the side vessels of the officials are served with a wooden pole, and the side vessels of the scholars are served with a ban.

I promise you my love for the rest of my life

Wang Ziyou served as a cavalry officer under Huan. Huan asked, "What is your department?" He replied, "I don't know. I see horses coming from time to time. I think I am in the horse department." Huan asked again, "How many horses do you have?" He replied, "If I don't ask about the horses, how can I know the number?" Huan asked again, "How many horses are dead?" He replied, "If I don't know the living, how can I know the dead?"

Quick Wear: I just want to farm

Someone asked Gu Changkang, "Why don't you compose the poem of Lo Sheng?" He replied, "Why don't you do the voice of an old maid?"