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When the father is in mourning, the sons in the palace cannot participate in the music. When the mother is in mourning, If the sound is heard, do not play music. If the wife is in mourning, do not play music beside her. When a great achievement is about to come, set aside the zither and the harp. When a small achievement comes, do not stop the music.
When Xie Zhenxi was young, he heard that Yin Hao was good at speaking clearly, so he went to visit him. Yin had not yet mastered anything, so he wrote several hundred words to explain the various meanings of Xie. It has both beautiful ideas and rich language, which is enough to move people and shock people. Thank you for your attentiveness and attention, I couldn't help sweating on my face. Yin Xu said to his attendants, "Get the towel and wipe Xie Lang's face."
When Taifu Xie had not yet come of age and had just left for the west, he went to see Changshi Wang and had a long and clear conversation with him. After he left, Gou Zi asked, "How respectful is Xiangke?" The chief secretary said, "Xiangke is so noisy that he is coming to force people."
When Pang Shiyuan arrived in Wu, the people of Wu all became friends with him. When he saw Lu Ji, Gu Shao and Quan Cong, he compared them and said, "What Lu Zi said about a slow horse is that it has the advantage of being fast. What Gu Zi said about a slow ox is that it can carry heavy loads and travel far." Someone asked, "If what you said is true, is Lu the better one?" He replied, "Although a slow horse is agile and swift, it can only catch up to one person. A slow ox can travel a hundred miles in a day, but how can it catch up to one person?" The people of Wu did not object. "Quan Zi likes to have a good reputation, just like Fan Zizhao of Runan."
The emperor's wife is called the queen, the princes are called the lady, the great officials are called the young lady, the scholars are called the woman, and the common people are called the wife.
In ancient times, those who wanted to manifest the bright virtue in the world first governed their country. Those who wanted to govern their country first put their family in order. If you want to make your family in order, you must first cultivate yourself. If you want to cultivate yourself, you must first rectify your heart. If you want to rectify your heart, you must first be sincere in your intentions. If you want to be sincere in your intentions, you must first acquire knowledge. Acquiring knowledge lies in investigating things. After investigating things, knowledge is achieved. After knowledge is achieved, intentions are sincere. After intentions are sincere, hearts are rectified. After hearts are rectified, the body is cultivated. After the body is cultivated, the family is in order. After the family is in order, the country is governed. After the country is governed, the world is peaceful.
In the court, talk about etiquette, and answer with etiquette when asked about etiquette. At the grand feast, do not ask for divination, and do not be extravagant.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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