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When Zigong asked about mourning, Confucius said, "Respect is the best, grief is the next, and thinness is the worst. The color of the face reflects the feelings; the sorrowful expression reflects the clothes." When asked about the mourning of brothers, Confucius said, "The mourning of brothers is recorded in the books and strategies. "A gentleman does not take away the mourning of others, nor should he take away his own mourning. Confucius said: "Shaolian and Dalian are good at mourning. They do not get tired for three days and do not stop for three months. They are sad for a long time and worried for three years. They are the sons of Dongyi. ”
Yu Liang'er was killed by Su Junnan. Zhuge Daoming's daughter was Yu Er's wife. After she became a widow, she was about to remarry and wrote a letter to Liang about it. Liang replied, "The virtuous girl is still young, so it is appropriate. She is grateful for her lost son, as if he were still alive."
When Zhi Daoling returned to the east, the wise men of the time saw him off at Zhenglu Pavilion. Cai Zishu came forward and sat close to Lin Gong. Xie Wanshi came later and sat a little far away. Cai got up temporarily, and Xie moved to his place. When Cai returned, he saw Xie there. He folded the mattress, lifted Xie up and threw him to the ground, then sat down again. He thanked the emperor for taking off his hat and cap, then slowly stood up, straightened his clothes and sat down on the mat. He looked very calm and not angry or frustrated at all. After sitting down, he said to Cai, "You are a strange man, and you may ruin my reputation." Cai replied, "I don't care about your reputation." After that, neither of them minded.
Serving parents is secretive but not offending, and the left and right are not good at taking care of them. They serve diligently until death and mourn for three years. If one makes a mistake in serving the lord but does not hide it, and takes good care of the lord in a proper way, and serves diligently until death, he shall mourn for three years. If one makes no mistake in serving the teacher and does not hide it, and takes good care of the lord in a proper way, and serves diligently until death, he shall mourn for three years in his heart.
When the king's messenger arrives, the host should come out and bow to show his disgrace to the king's words; when the messenger returns, he must bow and see him off at the door. If you send someone to the king's place, you must dress in court and give orders; if the envoy returns, you must go downstairs and receive orders.
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