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When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
When Xi Jiabin died, his attendants told Xi Gong that "his husband has passed away." Upon hearing this, Xi Gong was not sad, but said to his attendants, "We can tell you during the funeral." When Xi Gong went to the funeral, he was so sad that he almost died.
When Huan Xuan went to the capital, Yang Fu, who was then the deputy governor of Yanzhou, came from the capital to the gate with a letter saying, "Since I have been separated from the world, my heart is in turmoil. My wise sir should bring the morning light to the accumulated darkness and clear the hundreds of streams into one source." When Huan Xuan saw the letter, he hurriedly called him forward and said, "Zidao, Zidao, why are you so late?" He immediately made him a military officer in the record room. Meng Chang was Liu Laozhi's chief clerk. He went to the palace to express his gratitude and said, "Lord Yang, Lord Yang, our whole family depends on you!"
Therefore, in ancient times, women were married for three months before the ancestral temple was destroyed. They were taught in the palace, and after the ancestral temple was destroyed, they were taught in the clan, and taught about women's virtues, women's words, women's appearance, and women's achievements. After the teaching was completed, fish was used as the sacrifice, and it was stir-fried with duckweed, so that women were obedient.
The Master said: "I know that the Way is not working: the wise go beyond it, the foolish fall short of it. I know that the Way is not clear: the wise go beyond it, the unworthy fall short of it. Everyone eats and drinks, but few can appreciate the taste."
When Duke Yu was the Protector General, he asked Huan Tingwei to find a good official, and the search lasted for years. Queen Huan met Xu Ning and learned about it, so she told Yu Gong: "What others should have, you don't have to have; what others should not have, you don't have to not have. He is truly a pure man in the sea and mountains."
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