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Someone asked: "What is a cane?" The answer is: bamboo and tung are the same. So for the father, a cane is made of bamboo; for the mother, a cane is made of tung.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Jianwen was the prime minister and it took years of work before he was able to get the job. Duke Huan was very worried about his delay and often urged him to cancel it. Taizong said: "There are so many things to do in one day, how can we be quick?"
Yin Zhongjun was an expert at understanding the meridians, but he became useless in middle age. There was a messenger who was always there, but he suddenly kowtowed and bled. Hao asked why? He said, "There is a matter of death that cannot be told." After a long questioning, he finally said, "My mother is nearly a hundred years old and has been ill for a long time. If the officials can find her pulse, there will be a chance of survival. Then I will kill her without any regrets." Moved by his sincerity, he had her carried in, and he took her pulse and prescribed medicine. After taking one dose of soup, he recovered. So all the classics were burned.
The Lord of Wei was the brother-in-law of Xiao Zuzhou. Xie Gong asked Sun Sengnu, "What do your family say about the Lord of Wei?" Sun replied, "They say he is a hereditary successor." Xie said, "That's not true. The Lord of Wei is a man of reason and justice." At that time, he was compared to Yin Hongyuan.
When Wen Bo died, Jing Jiang sat on his bed without crying, saying, "In the past, I had Si Zi, and I thought he would be a wise man, so I never went to the public office; now when he died, none of my friends and ministers shed tears, but the women in the house all cried loudly. Si Zi must have been very unruly!" When Ji Kangzi's mother died, he laid out his underwear. Jing Jiang said, "A woman who does not wear clothes dare not meet her parents-in-law. There will be guests from all over the world coming. Why should she display her underwear here?" She ordered to remove it.
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