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When Kong Junping was seriously ill, Yu Sikong was sent to Kuaiji to visit him. He asked him about his condition and even shed tears. After Yu got off the bed, Kong said with a sigh: "A real man is about to die, but instead of asking about the way to keep the country and the family safe, he pretends to be a child and asks!" When Yu heard this, he thanked him and asked him to talk.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
. When parents grow old, they should not change their ways and should not be late. When parents are sick and look pale, this is the filial son's indifference. When a father dies and one cannot read his books, the traces of his hand remain; when a mother dies and one cannot drink from the cup, the traces of her mouth remain.
When Shi Daizhong died, he had no son, but six concubines. He asked for the successor. He said: "Bathing and wearing jade are omens." All five of them bathed and wore jade; Shi Qizi asked: "Who bathes and wears jade when mourning a parent?" No bathing or jade. Shi Qizi said.
When the dukes met before the appointed time, it was called "yu", and when they met in the land, it was called "hui". When the dukes sent officials to ask the dukes, it was called "pin", when they made promises, it was called "shi", and when they attended the sacrifice, it was called "meng".
Wang Jing was poor when he was young, and later he rose to the position of 2,000 official officials. His mother said to him, "You were born in a poor family, and now you have risen to the position of 2,000 official officials. Is this enough?" Jing was of no use. He was the Secretary of State and helped Wei, but was disloyal to Jin and was captured. He wept and said goodbye to his mother, "I have not obeyed your command until today!" His mother showed no sadness at all, and said to him, "As a son, you should be filial, and as a minister, you should be loyal. You are filial and loyal, so how can you fail me?"
Sun Xinggong wrote the eulogy for Yu Gong. Yuan Yang said, "See this Zhang Huan." At that time, it was regarded as a famous reward.
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